After 18 days of strict Paleo and no Paleo treats (which is super hard for me), Jon and I found ourselves strolling through Fairhaven and tempted by our fun weekend treat with Kaylee, which is usually getting frozen yogurt or ice cream of some sort. We always keep it small, but it's something she only gets as a special treat and something we enjoy together. So we go into Colophon Cafe in Fairhaven and I resist the urge to eat a dessert, and I get iced tea instead. I felt like that was a huge success since there was an ice cream freezer and desserts staring me in the face within sniffing distance. The next day, however, would be my falling point. Kaylee's classmate had a birthday party (4 years old) at their house with a huge BBQ and fun for the kids. It's the first kid birthday party where I actually felt comfortable and was enjoying myself around new people. But when the food started to come out I suddenly felt like an outcast again. I was no longer surrounded by my supporting CrossFit friends who would gladly scrape the cheese off the hamburger, eat carrots and broccoli without ranch dressing, and forego the sweets. Suddenly I realized it had been several hours since I ate (my first mistake) and everyone wanted to be super helpful and offer me food. The first few times I tried to say "I'm not hungry" or "I ate earlier, no thanks" but it wasn't working. Instead of staying strong and just explaining my lifestyle of eating now, I caved. I didn't like the awkward feeling I was having and the anxiety it was causing. You see........food is not just food to me. Food is deeper, and as weird as it sounds it has meaning for me. In the South, we use food to celebrate good things, bad things, death, life, promotion, demotion, etc. I didn't know how to just walk away and still feel "included". I'm not sure there's any other way to explain it. So yeah, I had a cheeseburger and a couple small sides. I had this rush of anxiety that came over me and then it finally went away after I gave in. <------ this is how I know that I will probably forever have a problem with food. It shouldn't affect me like that, but it does.
It would be easy to not mention this, or to just ignore it, but I know I'm not alone in the struggle. For some of us it is much deeper than an Paleo Challenge, or trying a Whole 30 challenge. For some of us, our relationship with food is so deep that it causes us to have anxiety rushes until we eat that food we are craving, it's an addiction. That addiction cost me bad health, depression, panic attacks, gallstones, trouble with childbirth, knee surgeries, and the list goes on an on. The worst thing that addiction cost me was my self worth. I now know that this cycle has to break, but it's not something I will ever be able to say goodbye to. It's something I have to put to sleep every day after I wake up, and fight it every time it decides to show up again. I know that I can be accepted in groups of people if my eating habits are different - who cares how I eat? But this time I wasn't strong enough. I will be someday, but I felt like it was making other people uncomfortable if I was going to start explaining it, and I don't want people to treat me any different because I choose to eat a certain way now. Perhaps this is how vegans feel, or vegetarians?
So 19 days strong, and although the cheeseburger was extremely tasty, the sugar I ate made me feel awful for the next day. I picked myself back up and am not beating myself up over it because it was a conscious choice I made, and I could have done worse. Granted, I could have done better and resisted but I think I had a breaking point and it's ok to realize I'm human. We all have our demons, and mine is food. If you're struggling with something similar, or even vastly different, be honest with yourself and come to grips with it. Until you are willing to look the situation honestly in the face and understand it IS a problem you will never overcome it. I *WILL* beat this, I already have done over half of the work, and I have a lot to prove to myself and those who created black spots in my past. I can't wait for the day when I'm in the shape I need to be and the numbers on the scale no longer taunt me or make me think "you can't do this." To that, I say "WATCH ME".
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Whole30 Day 15
The last week has been pretty busy around the Hanson household, and although things have seemed quite hard at times, we are trying to maintain our trust that God has this whole mess of life figured out. Sometimes I wish He would at least give me a tiny hint of what He has in store because those who know me understand I am an obsessive planner and NEED to know what is happening next. We had to make some adjustments with Kaylee this week, so she is going back to daycare full time again. We know in our hearts that this is the right decision for everyone but it is still so very hard. I miss getting an extra hour and a half with her in the mornings to make sure she is comfortable before I leave for work. I miss getting pictures throughout the day that show me what she is doing. I miss spending time with my friend in the mornings at her house when I drop Kaylee off. There’s lots I miss, but I am trusting God has this figured out because mommy feels like she has no clue sometimes.
Health update: Many of you know that I have been struggling with chronic fatigue for months now. It’s intense, like fall asleep sitting up on the couch after 2 minutes intense, and it comes in really hard waves. After finding a new doctor that is willing to spend significant time looking through my file and comparing the lab results with my symptoms, we determined that my daily dose of T4 hormone was significantly lower than it needed to be. So, we have upped the medication and will re-test in 6 weeks. I’m not sure when I will begin to notice a difference but I am hoping soon. I am also wondering if it will help the weight loss continue. Right now things are stuck, to the point of bitter frustration, but because of the fatigue I have nothing left in me to give. I push myself as hard as I possibly can during our WODs because I know my energy for the day will only last me that 1 precious hour in the morning, so I give it all I have. I crash very quickly after I get home from CFX and just try to maintain throughout the day if I can. I have noticed that protein helps me, so I try to eat quite a bit of that throughout the day. I’m not taking any additional caffeine during the day, so the headaches from that have stopped finally. But sometimes I wish I could just go buy a huge coffee drink to wake me up.
Paleo challenge update: I’m now 15 days into my Whole30 and being strict STRICT Paleo. I’ve lost my cravings for junk food, but still really miss my Paleo treats. Some days are easier than others and the other day I was about to cave when Jon reminded me that I told everyone here that they shouldn’t give up. I’ve not listened to my own advice and have been weighing myself every few days (I suggest you do NOT do this but I am stubborn) and the results are discouraging because they are either staying exactly the same as 15 days ago or they are going up. UP??? This is why the other day I wanted to say screw it, I’m done, and I’m going to Subway (yes, that is a cheat for me and I LOVE it). But after talking to Jon I remembered why I am really doing this. Even if after the challenge the weight on the scale is the same or higher, I pray pray pray that the % of body fat has changed. It has to, right??? I am hoping that the reason the weight numbers are not changing is because it is turning into muscle. I have not cheated, not once, so there’s no reason for it to not be…..but as a woman it’s hard to see the scale numbers not change. I have noticed my strength numbers at CFX improving, so I know I am getting stronger. For example, today I was able to clean 105lbs [yay!!] and when we did Kettlebell floor presses the 35lbs were very easy, when they used to be very hard. Things are moving in the right direction, I just need to keep my head clear.
Sit-up challenge update: I’m so happy to say that I finished the 2,376 weighted situp challenge in 10 days!! The girls at CFX really dived in on this one and made it so much fun to do together, thank y’all so much for participating!! I’ve gained a whole sense of appreciation for the GHD because after the first 500 situps I learned the hard way that carpet situps were not going to work.
Other tidbits: Friday is our 5 year wedding anniversary and I am getting very excited about it! We chose some [unknowingly] hard paths throughout our 10+ year relationship but I am so thankful to have my best friend as my husband. He amazes me every day in how he has become such a wonderful father to Kaylee and I’m glad he is someone I can tell everything to. I have needed so much support from him since beginning this long journey and I can’t even express to him how much his support has meant. Even now, things get tough, but he is there for me to cry to and lean on when needed. I’m also so very proud of him for starting his own CrossFit journey to better health/fitness and he is looking GOOD if I do say so myself !
Your homework: There have been lots of days the past few weeks when I am reminded how hard it is to keep going when things get tough. Sometimes you have to give yourself tough love, and although it sucks, it’s necessary. I saw this picture below and it is exactly what I needed to hear. I know it might be harsh, and I don’t mean it to be (well, I kinda do but that is because I BELIEVE in you!) but take a minute to think about what this means for you. You will know when you’re ready to pursue that new journey whether it be related to weight loss/finances/marriage/relationships/kids/etc. But be real with yourself and don’t let anyone, ANYONE, make you change your mind about taking charge of your own life. Sometimes you feel alone and that is okay, because you are the only one who can do this.
Health update: Many of you know that I have been struggling with chronic fatigue for months now. It’s intense, like fall asleep sitting up on the couch after 2 minutes intense, and it comes in really hard waves. After finding a new doctor that is willing to spend significant time looking through my file and comparing the lab results with my symptoms, we determined that my daily dose of T4 hormone was significantly lower than it needed to be. So, we have upped the medication and will re-test in 6 weeks. I’m not sure when I will begin to notice a difference but I am hoping soon. I am also wondering if it will help the weight loss continue. Right now things are stuck, to the point of bitter frustration, but because of the fatigue I have nothing left in me to give. I push myself as hard as I possibly can during our WODs because I know my energy for the day will only last me that 1 precious hour in the morning, so I give it all I have. I crash very quickly after I get home from CFX and just try to maintain throughout the day if I can. I have noticed that protein helps me, so I try to eat quite a bit of that throughout the day. I’m not taking any additional caffeine during the day, so the headaches from that have stopped finally. But sometimes I wish I could just go buy a huge coffee drink to wake me up.
Paleo challenge update: I’m now 15 days into my Whole30 and being strict STRICT Paleo. I’ve lost my cravings for junk food, but still really miss my Paleo treats. Some days are easier than others and the other day I was about to cave when Jon reminded me that I told everyone here that they shouldn’t give up. I’ve not listened to my own advice and have been weighing myself every few days (I suggest you do NOT do this but I am stubborn) and the results are discouraging because they are either staying exactly the same as 15 days ago or they are going up. UP??? This is why the other day I wanted to say screw it, I’m done, and I’m going to Subway (yes, that is a cheat for me and I LOVE it). But after talking to Jon I remembered why I am really doing this. Even if after the challenge the weight on the scale is the same or higher, I pray pray pray that the % of body fat has changed. It has to, right??? I am hoping that the reason the weight numbers are not changing is because it is turning into muscle. I have not cheated, not once, so there’s no reason for it to not be…..but as a woman it’s hard to see the scale numbers not change. I have noticed my strength numbers at CFX improving, so I know I am getting stronger. For example, today I was able to clean 105lbs [yay!!] and when we did Kettlebell floor presses the 35lbs were very easy, when they used to be very hard. Things are moving in the right direction, I just need to keep my head clear.
Sit-up challenge update: I’m so happy to say that I finished the 2,376 weighted situp challenge in 10 days!! The girls at CFX really dived in on this one and made it so much fun to do together, thank y’all so much for participating!! I’ve gained a whole sense of appreciation for the GHD because after the first 500 situps I learned the hard way that carpet situps were not going to work.
Other tidbits: Friday is our 5 year wedding anniversary and I am getting very excited about it! We chose some [unknowingly] hard paths throughout our 10+ year relationship but I am so thankful to have my best friend as my husband. He amazes me every day in how he has become such a wonderful father to Kaylee and I’m glad he is someone I can tell everything to. I have needed so much support from him since beginning this long journey and I can’t even express to him how much his support has meant. Even now, things get tough, but he is there for me to cry to and lean on when needed. I’m also so very proud of him for starting his own CrossFit journey to better health/fitness and he is looking GOOD if I do say so myself !
Your homework: There have been lots of days the past few weeks when I am reminded how hard it is to keep going when things get tough. Sometimes you have to give yourself tough love, and although it sucks, it’s necessary. I saw this picture below and it is exactly what I needed to hear. I know it might be harsh, and I don’t mean it to be (well, I kinda do but that is because I BELIEVE in you!) but take a minute to think about what this means for you. You will know when you’re ready to pursue that new journey whether it be related to weight loss/finances/marriage/relationships/kids/etc. But be real with yourself and don’t let anyone, ANYONE, make you change your mind about taking charge of your own life. Sometimes you feel alone and that is okay, because you are the only one who can do this.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Paleo Challenge - Take 3!
Tomorrow is the kick-off of our newest Paleo Challenge at CFX. It will last 35 days and this time there's a twist - we're in teams! Totally awesome! We don't know our teams just yet but everyone had to be weighed and measured up at WWU with the "Bod Pod". Now this was neat because you were able to retrieve very accurate body fat percentage calculations, and we used to just use the hand-held caliber thing you squeeze for like 10 seconds. The body fat ratings for women were as follows:
>40% = Risky (high body fat)
31-40% = Excess fat
23-30% = Moderately lean
19-22% = Lean
15-18% = Ultra Lean
<15 body="body" fat="fat" low="low" p="p" risky="risky">
Let's start with the weight, because I'm a bit excited about what I saw on the scale. After 19 months of crossfitting, I'm down from 235 to 152.9. From my heaviest, I am down from 265...you do the math :). I actually started my Whole30 early so I have already lost 5lbs in 1 week with it. However, the weight numbers are not my biggest concern anymore (never thought I would say that!) it's more important to me that I clean my body out so it runs the way it is supposed to. If there is going to be another PAT test for the Bellingham Police Department soon then I am giving it EVERYTHING I have in the nutrition department this time. I tried to do good last time but Paleo treats are my weakness. There's none of those right now either.
The body fat percentage was a bit disappointing, because I would hope that after losing 83lbs with Crossfit that my body fat percentage would be lower since I'm getting stronger but the number was 31.7% which puts me at the lowest end of "excess fat".....ugh. BUT - I am choosing to look on the bright side and know that by the end of this challenge I plan on being in the "Moderately Lean" category and kiss the excess fat category behind! Now, can you imagine how much of my body mass must have been fat back when I started Crossfit? I can't even imagine, but I would bet you it was close to 50% considering I couldn't even do a modified push up. Crazy!
Progress that takes time is still progress! Remember that.
I was reminded this morning in church how much I have failed to give all this credit to God with all the changes that have happened. Sometimes the "me" gets in the way. Although it is me you are seeing, God has placed so many important people in my path that have helped me get to where I am - and who will help me continue on to get where I am going. CFX has been the biggest blessing since moving here, and God specifically placed me at a temp job 2 years ago so I could meet Kaylee from our gym who would introduce me to CFX. Other things that stood in our way have been fixed so that our family can enjoy CrossFit together. Things with Kaylee (now back to little Kaylee, our daughter) have been rough the last few months as she goes through the emotional stages every 3 year old endures, but lovely people have been put in our lives to love on her when mommy and daddy can't. She has a darling nanny now, Michaela, who I have grown to love as a friend and I trust her care with Kaylee. My coaches at CFX help me push through the mental walls I put up in front of my goals because I am too afraid to fail. I can't thank them enough, and they were also put in my life by God. None of this is possible with out recognizing how I am able to make this happen, and I'm sorry I fail to recognize that sometimes.
I'm excited about this challenge, and there's also a side challenge going on with the CFX ladies and one of my dear friends, Tricia. We're doing a weighted sit-up challenge that equates to about 200 weighted sit-ups a day. When I first asked if the girls wanted to join in I didn't expect such a response. However, they blew me away and are all taking part, which means now I have to step up! Thanks ladies for always pushing me to do better than yesterday.
>40% = Risky (high body fat)
31-40% = Excess fat
23-30% = Moderately lean
19-22% = Lean
15-18% = Ultra Lean
<15 body="body" fat="fat" low="low" p="p" risky="risky">
Let's start with the weight, because I'm a bit excited about what I saw on the scale. After 19 months of crossfitting, I'm down from 235 to 152.9. From my heaviest, I am down from 265...you do the math :). I actually started my Whole30 early so I have already lost 5lbs in 1 week with it. However, the weight numbers are not my biggest concern anymore (never thought I would say that!) it's more important to me that I clean my body out so it runs the way it is supposed to. If there is going to be another PAT test for the Bellingham Police Department soon then I am giving it EVERYTHING I have in the nutrition department this time. I tried to do good last time but Paleo treats are my weakness. There's none of those right now either.
The body fat percentage was a bit disappointing, because I would hope that after losing 83lbs with Crossfit that my body fat percentage would be lower since I'm getting stronger but the number was 31.7% which puts me at the lowest end of "excess fat".....ugh. BUT - I am choosing to look on the bright side and know that by the end of this challenge I plan on being in the "Moderately Lean" category and kiss the excess fat category behind! Now, can you imagine how much of my body mass must have been fat back when I started Crossfit? I can't even imagine, but I would bet you it was close to 50% considering I couldn't even do a modified push up. Crazy!
Progress that takes time is still progress! Remember that.
I was reminded this morning in church how much I have failed to give all this credit to God with all the changes that have happened. Sometimes the "me" gets in the way. Although it is me you are seeing, God has placed so many important people in my path that have helped me get to where I am - and who will help me continue on to get where I am going. CFX has been the biggest blessing since moving here, and God specifically placed me at a temp job 2 years ago so I could meet Kaylee from our gym who would introduce me to CFX. Other things that stood in our way have been fixed so that our family can enjoy CrossFit together. Things with Kaylee (now back to little Kaylee, our daughter) have been rough the last few months as she goes through the emotional stages every 3 year old endures, but lovely people have been put in our lives to love on her when mommy and daddy can't. She has a darling nanny now, Michaela, who I have grown to love as a friend and I trust her care with Kaylee. My coaches at CFX help me push through the mental walls I put up in front of my goals because I am too afraid to fail. I can't thank them enough, and they were also put in my life by God. None of this is possible with out recognizing how I am able to make this happen, and I'm sorry I fail to recognize that sometimes.
I'm excited about this challenge, and there's also a side challenge going on with the CFX ladies and one of my dear friends, Tricia. We're doing a weighted sit-up challenge that equates to about 200 weighted sit-ups a day. When I first asked if the girls wanted to join in I didn't expect such a response. However, they blew me away and are all taking part, which means now I have to step up! Thanks ladies for always pushing me to do better than yesterday.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Attempting to find the new "Normal"
As a CrossFitter, I am constantly bombarded by stories of people living a strict Paleo lifestyle. There's a wealth of information out there for us to learn from, and most of it is very well-intentioned. But am I all alone in the feeling that sometimes it feels like there is so much pressure out there to be 100% Paleo 100% of the time? Like if you cheat you've totally fallen off the wagon and it will take months to get back to normal. Heaven forbid you would out one night or have a piece of bread with your dinner, right? Yes, there are some websites out there that take it too far, as well as the very well-intentioned parenting blogs that lead me to have mommy guilt for my daughter not being Paleo as well. However, I try to keep it in perspective and remember that they mean well and I'm just entirely too sensitive to anything having to do with the kinds of food I put into my body. Which is now my new struggle that I'm trying to figure out.
It was not until after I joined CFX that I began to learn exactly why certain types of food are bad for you, and what effects it can have on your weight loss efforts. I've always known that nutrition and exercise go hand-in-hand but if you asked me how I know that or why I believe it I could not give you a straight answer. I yo-yo-dieted for my entire life until CrossFit. Once I began CrossFit I was forced to realize where my weaknesses are, and what my triggers are for my dieting issues. You can't run from things in CrossFit because they will always come back eventually (lovely how that works, huh?). Although it has taken me a while because I'm stubborn, I'm trying to learn more about how the Paleo lifestyle can actually help me find a way out of this perpetual cycle of fatigue I am experiencing. Why have I not been hard core Paleo this entire time? Because it's hard! It's not easy giving up things that i used to use for comfort. Food was my comfort when I was sad/happy/anxious/worried/stressed/etc. If you take that away then what is my coping mechanism now? Well - that's what I have been trying to figure out. I shouldn't have to turn to food for these things, and neither should you. We need to figure out why food is always our drug of choice and the first step for me has been reading the book "It Starts With Food" by Dallas and Melissa Hartwig. If you're at all involved in the Paleo-sphere of life then you have heard of this book. They go into all the sciency information and help you understand what foods in the Standard American Diet do to your body. You know that food pyramid you were told to follow as a kid? That thing is a joke. I'm now learning that the reason I felt so good on our first Paleo Challenge last year was because it really was cleaning out my system of the junk - it wasn't all in my head. There's things happening inside your body every time you put something into your mouth, and it will either have a good or bad consequence. I'm tired of the bad consequences, but I have to turn off my cravings for these things. That's not easy to do.
Our next Paleo Challenge begins next week, and I've decided to follow a stricter version which is the Whole 30 (www.whole9life.com). The reason for this is because I am tired of the ups and downs during my day and constantly relying on caffeine to stay sane. I am Paleo about 80% of the time, but that also includes Paleo "treats" because I miss my junk food sometimes. On Whole 30 I will not be allowed to have any added sugar, including Paleo-approved sweeteners such as raw honey or agave. I also must limit my caffeine intake which is the big kicker. I decided to start this Paleo Challenge early because I want to prove to myself that I can make it this long. So I am officially starting my Whole 30 tomorrow. Today was full of massive caffeine headaches, so I am not looking forward to that ( I decided to ditch the caffeine today). There's one part of the caffeine I am not ready to give up yet though, and that is my pre-workout supplement. Yes, I use a pre-workout supplement. I'm not really happy that I have to, but I can't make myself perform how I need to without it just yet - not at 5:30am on limited sleep.
I've kinda gone off on rabbit trails here, but what I really wanted to point out is that I should look at this with the vision I had about 3 years ago. I dealt with very severe PPD/PPA after my daughter was born because she was very sick her first year. I also dealt with depression for many years prior to her birth, but weaned myself off of my medication prior to try to become pregnant. Getting off of medication I was dependent on to feel normal was one of the hardest struggles I've gone through. But I took each day one at a time and each day I didn't have to take medication was a huge victory. Soon those victories were strung together into an entire week, 2 weeks, a month, and longer. My emotions were all over the place for a while during the withdrawlPaleo Challenge, and not taking no for an answer. I'll never get past it if I give up. I don't give up any more.
I know many of you reading this are part of our Paleo Challenge these next 35 days. I challenge you to give up something that is Paleo but comforting to you. Find something that will push you until the end so you can truly feel accomplished when it's over. AND - if you fall off the wagon during this challenge please do not beat yourself up....and I better not find you at a restaurant bingeing out because you "failed". There is no failing if you keep trying again, so never stop trying again! Got it? I am here for you, let us all help each other find a way to get through this and enjoy it. This should not be torture - if it is then you're not ready for it yet. It should be uncomfortable, but not torture.
I'm anxious and nervous about this, because I honestly feel like it will be a daily struggle to not give in when I'm tired but I also know if I don't go cold-turkey I can't get accurate lab readings either. I need to know if there is something outside of food that is wrong inside. the only way to find out for sure is to clean it out and get the tests run.
Hang in there, it's only 35 days!!
It was not until after I joined CFX that I began to learn exactly why certain types of food are bad for you, and what effects it can have on your weight loss efforts. I've always known that nutrition and exercise go hand-in-hand but if you asked me how I know that or why I believe it I could not give you a straight answer. I yo-yo-dieted for my entire life until CrossFit. Once I began CrossFit I was forced to realize where my weaknesses are, and what my triggers are for my dieting issues. You can't run from things in CrossFit because they will always come back eventually (lovely how that works, huh?). Although it has taken me a while because I'm stubborn, I'm trying to learn more about how the Paleo lifestyle can actually help me find a way out of this perpetual cycle of fatigue I am experiencing. Why have I not been hard core Paleo this entire time? Because it's hard! It's not easy giving up things that i used to use for comfort. Food was my comfort when I was sad/happy/anxious/worried/stressed/etc. If you take that away then what is my coping mechanism now? Well - that's what I have been trying to figure out. I shouldn't have to turn to food for these things, and neither should you. We need to figure out why food is always our drug of choice and the first step for me has been reading the book "It Starts With Food" by Dallas and Melissa Hartwig. If you're at all involved in the Paleo-sphere of life then you have heard of this book. They go into all the sciency information and help you understand what foods in the Standard American Diet do to your body. You know that food pyramid you were told to follow as a kid? That thing is a joke. I'm now learning that the reason I felt so good on our first Paleo Challenge last year was because it really was cleaning out my system of the junk - it wasn't all in my head. There's things happening inside your body every time you put something into your mouth, and it will either have a good or bad consequence. I'm tired of the bad consequences, but I have to turn off my cravings for these things. That's not easy to do.
Our next Paleo Challenge begins next week, and I've decided to follow a stricter version which is the Whole 30 (www.whole9life.com). The reason for this is because I am tired of the ups and downs during my day and constantly relying on caffeine to stay sane. I am Paleo about 80% of the time, but that also includes Paleo "treats" because I miss my junk food sometimes. On Whole 30 I will not be allowed to have any added sugar, including Paleo-approved sweeteners such as raw honey or agave. I also must limit my caffeine intake which is the big kicker. I decided to start this Paleo Challenge early because I want to prove to myself that I can make it this long. So I am officially starting my Whole 30 tomorrow. Today was full of massive caffeine headaches, so I am not looking forward to that ( I decided to ditch the caffeine today). There's one part of the caffeine I am not ready to give up yet though, and that is my pre-workout supplement. Yes, I use a pre-workout supplement. I'm not really happy that I have to, but I can't make myself perform how I need to without it just yet - not at 5:30am on limited sleep.
I've kinda gone off on rabbit trails here, but what I really wanted to point out is that I should look at this with the vision I had about 3 years ago. I dealt with very severe PPD/PPA after my daughter was born because she was very sick her first year. I also dealt with depression for many years prior to her birth, but weaned myself off of my medication prior to try to become pregnant. Getting off of medication I was dependent on to feel normal was one of the hardest struggles I've gone through. But I took each day one at a time and each day I didn't have to take medication was a huge victory. Soon those victories were strung together into an entire week, 2 weeks, a month, and longer. My emotions were all over the place for a while during the withdrawlPaleo Challenge, and not taking no for an answer. I'll never get past it if I give up. I don't give up any more.
I know many of you reading this are part of our Paleo Challenge these next 35 days. I challenge you to give up something that is Paleo but comforting to you. Find something that will push you until the end so you can truly feel accomplished when it's over. AND - if you fall off the wagon during this challenge please do not beat yourself up....and I better not find you at a restaurant bingeing out because you "failed". There is no failing if you keep trying again, so never stop trying again! Got it? I am here for you, let us all help each other find a way to get through this and enjoy it. This should not be torture - if it is then you're not ready for it yet. It should be uncomfortable, but not torture.
I'm anxious and nervous about this, because I honestly feel like it will be a daily struggle to not give in when I'm tired but I also know if I don't go cold-turkey I can't get accurate lab readings either. I need to know if there is something outside of food that is wrong inside. the only way to find out for sure is to clean it out and get the tests run.
Hang in there, it's only 35 days!!
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Should we give it another go?
Hi there folks. You might remember me, but I wouldn't hold it against you if you don't...considering it has been almost 3 months since I last attempted to revive this blog. We have had a lot going on, and I've been involved in a few outside things that make time management a bit of an issue. However, what I have found is that I would be doing a disservice to people if I didn't find time to update this at least once a week. So, rather than try and post every few days I think I will start with once a week and see what happens. Fair enough? :)
Changes. The Hanson household has seen a few changes lately. My awesome and amazing husband has decided to join CrossfitX with me! I've wondered when the day would come that he would give it a try and I am so proud of him for taking the plunge. It's not easy walking through those doors when you know you will be surrounded by people who might lift heavy, run fast, pull harder, etc. As nice as people can be, and as welcoming as CFX is, it's only natural for fear and anxiety to set in. It has been 19 months since I started Crossfit, but I remember that moment of fear to this day. I didn't feel like I belonged anywhere that athletes were present and I sure as heck didn't want to make eye contact with anyone for fear I would have to talk to them. What would I say? I have nothing in common with these people? Right? Oh how wrong I was, and how wrong that perception is sometimes. Although Crossfit members are some of the most fittest on Earth (have you SEEN the CrossFit Games?), they are still just people. People who come from all different walks of life with their own sets of challenges and hurdles. Everyone comes with a goal in mind, and although some goals may be vastly different than our own, they are still special goals with very deep meaning behind them.
Jon is doing an awesome job, and each day that he goes in it is progress towards his own personal goals. I can't even explain to you how proud of him I am. He does so much for our family, and as my husband, I just want the very best things in life for him. If Crossfit can give back just a smidge of what he has done for me then it is all worth it. I love you honey!
Where I am now. When you last read a post from me I had just failed to complete the PAT for the Bellingham Police Department. Although it is embarrassing to have everyone read about a failure, I would not take it back because people need to understand that journeys have struggles and you have to find a way to work past those, not hide them. I took some time to dial back the training for a month to give myself a mental break. I put way too much pressure on myself that time, and it mentally drained me. Rumor has it that the next entry-level recruitment will be in August and you better believe I will be there to try again. It didn't take long for me to get bored and back to 5-6 days a week at CFX though. Although I would like to say my nutrition is in high gear right now, I can't. My weight is now in between 157 and 160. That means I have lost 80lbs since joining CFX 19 months ago. I still feel that my body needs to loose at least another 40lbs though, so it's time to finish this weight loss ride so I can focus on building the healthy body I need to have.
My strength has improved at CFX but not as quickly as I would like. I know the reason behind this though, which makes me kick myself every time I think about it.....NUTRITION. People, I can not emphasize this enough, no matter how much work you put into working out you will never reach your goal unless your nutrition is completely dialed in. This does NOT mean drinking meal replacement shakes full of chemical additives. This means learning how to fuel your body using real food, the right kind of food. My saving grace has been Paleo. I would be lying through my teeth if I said it was easy, because it can become overwhelming while working full time and having a family, but it is do-able. So why don't I just do it then? I wish I could give you a simple answer for that but I can't. Perhaps I am just still struggling with emotional/stress eating, and perhaps I still don't fully believe I can finish this. The 2nd idea is probably more fitting. Yes, I've lost 80lbs. Yes, I can deadlift my body weight in workouts now. Yes, I can clean 102.5lbs and get 135lbs over my head. Yes, I used to wear a size 26 in clothes and just bought a pair of size 10 pants. BUT....I still see myself as the fat girl sometimes and still let the little nagging voice in my head tell me I can't finish this because it's too hard.
This week has been a good week at CFX, especially the last 2 days. I was on vacation last week and even though I tried to be "good" I was off the wagon quite a bit for what I consider my normal nutrition and workouts. Monday came and I was still stressed out that 2lbs had crept back on after a week, and I was wondering how hard it would be to get those 2lbs back off. I have worked so hard for those 80lbs to be gone that it makes me so angry when they come back, so I was stressed. Then I was checking the Women of Crossfit = Strong Facebook page ( https://www.facebook.com/CFStrongWomen ) and saw that the page host, Meg, and put up the picture I sent her of me doing a 1-handed handstand. The encouraging comments I received on that post were so uplifting and just what I needed to remind myself that this is not just about me. This is about me sharing my journey so that other people can be encouraged to finish theirs as well. To top it off, today's WOD helped put things into perspective:
Warmup: 2x400m runs...then,
1600m run
Rest 8 minutes
1200m run
Rest 6 minutes
800m run
Rest 4 minutes
400m run
Dude, that is 3 miles of running. That's ALL we did today. I told myself today that I was refusing to give in to any type of mental fatigue. I have trained hard enough and long enough that my body CAN do all of that without stopping, so it ws 100% a mental WOD and I am proud to say the WOD lost :). I did each of those intervals (400m = 1/4mile) without stopping and my time were pretty darn good! Everyone still lapped me, but that's a-ok...I accomplished my goad and impressed myself by doing faster than usual so I will take it! *then my crazy awesome husband decided he had to give it a go too, soooo proud! Ladies night was tonight and my legs were pretty dang tired but we had fun with that too and it was awesome to see our CFX ladies giving it their all.
Reality. I wish I could just surgar-coat if for you....but the fact of the matter is that hard work is the only way you will see lasting results so you better just start now. If you start now and it takes you 32 months, at least you didn't wait 32 months to start! I see so much potential in people who are struggling with their weight and/or fitness level because I am them. That will always be a part of who I am no matter how I look on the outside. For the rest of my life I will struggle with temptations, hypothyroidism, and very slow metabolism. But I want to reach my dreams so badly that I'm tired of letting that other part of my life win.
Never stop trying again. If you are sitting on the fence about something you need to do in order to accomplish your goals in life (no matter what they may be), just ask yourself this: What do I have to lose, and how will I feel in a few months if I had not given it a shot now? Failures will come, and setbacks will inevitably happen...but those who never give up are the ones who build character and help to changes the lives of others.
Let's give this another shot, be patient with me, and let me know how I can help you in your own journey. My life has been drastically changed by CFX, and I want everyone to know they are worth the effort.
Changes. The Hanson household has seen a few changes lately. My awesome and amazing husband has decided to join CrossfitX with me! I've wondered when the day would come that he would give it a try and I am so proud of him for taking the plunge. It's not easy walking through those doors when you know you will be surrounded by people who might lift heavy, run fast, pull harder, etc. As nice as people can be, and as welcoming as CFX is, it's only natural for fear and anxiety to set in. It has been 19 months since I started Crossfit, but I remember that moment of fear to this day. I didn't feel like I belonged anywhere that athletes were present and I sure as heck didn't want to make eye contact with anyone for fear I would have to talk to them. What would I say? I have nothing in common with these people? Right? Oh how wrong I was, and how wrong that perception is sometimes. Although Crossfit members are some of the most fittest on Earth (have you SEEN the CrossFit Games?), they are still just people. People who come from all different walks of life with their own sets of challenges and hurdles. Everyone comes with a goal in mind, and although some goals may be vastly different than our own, they are still special goals with very deep meaning behind them.
Jon is doing an awesome job, and each day that he goes in it is progress towards his own personal goals. I can't even explain to you how proud of him I am. He does so much for our family, and as my husband, I just want the very best things in life for him. If Crossfit can give back just a smidge of what he has done for me then it is all worth it. I love you honey!
Where I am now. When you last read a post from me I had just failed to complete the PAT for the Bellingham Police Department. Although it is embarrassing to have everyone read about a failure, I would not take it back because people need to understand that journeys have struggles and you have to find a way to work past those, not hide them. I took some time to dial back the training for a month to give myself a mental break. I put way too much pressure on myself that time, and it mentally drained me. Rumor has it that the next entry-level recruitment will be in August and you better believe I will be there to try again. It didn't take long for me to get bored and back to 5-6 days a week at CFX though. Although I would like to say my nutrition is in high gear right now, I can't. My weight is now in between 157 and 160. That means I have lost 80lbs since joining CFX 19 months ago. I still feel that my body needs to loose at least another 40lbs though, so it's time to finish this weight loss ride so I can focus on building the healthy body I need to have.
My strength has improved at CFX but not as quickly as I would like. I know the reason behind this though, which makes me kick myself every time I think about it.....NUTRITION. People, I can not emphasize this enough, no matter how much work you put into working out you will never reach your goal unless your nutrition is completely dialed in. This does NOT mean drinking meal replacement shakes full of chemical additives. This means learning how to fuel your body using real food, the right kind of food. My saving grace has been Paleo. I would be lying through my teeth if I said it was easy, because it can become overwhelming while working full time and having a family, but it is do-able. So why don't I just do it then? I wish I could give you a simple answer for that but I can't. Perhaps I am just still struggling with emotional/stress eating, and perhaps I still don't fully believe I can finish this. The 2nd idea is probably more fitting. Yes, I've lost 80lbs. Yes, I can deadlift my body weight in workouts now. Yes, I can clean 102.5lbs and get 135lbs over my head. Yes, I used to wear a size 26 in clothes and just bought a pair of size 10 pants. BUT....I still see myself as the fat girl sometimes and still let the little nagging voice in my head tell me I can't finish this because it's too hard.
This week has been a good week at CFX, especially the last 2 days. I was on vacation last week and even though I tried to be "good" I was off the wagon quite a bit for what I consider my normal nutrition and workouts. Monday came and I was still stressed out that 2lbs had crept back on after a week, and I was wondering how hard it would be to get those 2lbs back off. I have worked so hard for those 80lbs to be gone that it makes me so angry when they come back, so I was stressed. Then I was checking the Women of Crossfit = Strong Facebook page ( https://www.facebook.com/CFStrongWomen ) and saw that the page host, Meg, and put up the picture I sent her of me doing a 1-handed handstand. The encouraging comments I received on that post were so uplifting and just what I needed to remind myself that this is not just about me. This is about me sharing my journey so that other people can be encouraged to finish theirs as well. To top it off, today's WOD helped put things into perspective:
Warmup: 2x400m runs...then,
1600m run
Rest 8 minutes
1200m run
Rest 6 minutes
800m run
Rest 4 minutes
400m run
Dude, that is 3 miles of running. That's ALL we did today. I told myself today that I was refusing to give in to any type of mental fatigue. I have trained hard enough and long enough that my body CAN do all of that without stopping, so it ws 100% a mental WOD and I am proud to say the WOD lost :). I did each of those intervals (400m = 1/4mile) without stopping and my time were pretty darn good! Everyone still lapped me, but that's a-ok...I accomplished my goad and impressed myself by doing faster than usual so I will take it! *then my crazy awesome husband decided he had to give it a go too, soooo proud! Ladies night was tonight and my legs were pretty dang tired but we had fun with that too and it was awesome to see our CFX ladies giving it their all.
Reality. I wish I could just surgar-coat if for you....but the fact of the matter is that hard work is the only way you will see lasting results so you better just start now. If you start now and it takes you 32 months, at least you didn't wait 32 months to start! I see so much potential in people who are struggling with their weight and/or fitness level because I am them. That will always be a part of who I am no matter how I look on the outside. For the rest of my life I will struggle with temptations, hypothyroidism, and very slow metabolism. But I want to reach my dreams so badly that I'm tired of letting that other part of my life win.
Never stop trying again. If you are sitting on the fence about something you need to do in order to accomplish your goals in life (no matter what they may be), just ask yourself this: What do I have to lose, and how will I feel in a few months if I had not given it a shot now? Failures will come, and setbacks will inevitably happen...but those who never give up are the ones who build character and help to changes the lives of others.
Let's give this another shot, be patient with me, and let me know how I can help you in your own journey. My life has been drastically changed by CFX, and I want everyone to know they are worth the effort.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
2 Seconds: Stop Underestimating Yourself
It's now been a couple of weeks since the City of Bellingham PAT, and we've been quite busy around the house because our daughter just had surgery to remove her adenoids and tonsils, and repair a hole in her eardrum. Thanks to those of you who prayed with us and checked in on little Kaylee. She has her spunk back, so she's really getting better. I've been wanting to get a chance to sit down and update everyone on the blog about the test, as well as give you all something to think about within your own lives.
So, our plan for test day (Friday, March 16th) was for Jon to take Kaylee in to daycare so that I could get extra sleep and take my time to mentally prepare before the test. Well, I woke up at 7:00am to the sound of a barking cough coming from down the hall. Kaylee had woken up with croup. Not only could she not go to daycare, but we only have 1 car, so I had to find a way to the test via bus because Jon had to take her to the doctor. Everything was thrown for a loop and I was pretty distracted all morning. We figured it all out and I found a bus route that got me to the area about an hour early. I sat in a Subway for about 35 minutes just gathering my thoughts and reading the TONS of encouraging messages many of my friends and family sent to me that morning. I felt as prepared as I could be, and finally it was time.
I walked to Civic Field and checked in. There were officers all over and they were very friendly to everyone. As soon as I checked in, I was introduced to the officer who was in charge of our group. He said that he knew of me because one of the officers mentioned my name, and she remembered me from the Citizen's Academy. This was very encouraging, but also made me nervous because they already knew who I was. It was cold, raining, and windy (lovely NorthWest combination...thanks mother nature). There were 4 people in my group, including myself. We walked down to the field to start the 300m sprint. This was the first round, and if you don't pass then you don't move on. The minimum time to complete the 300m sprint is 71 seconds. We were lined up on the track, and I was in the very back which meant that I could see everyone else lined up in front of me. There were several officers along the track, keeping track and watching everyone. Each runner was assigned an officer who kept score.
As soon as they counted us down, "3...2...1...GO" I sprinted off faster than I have ever ran before. I saw everyone sprinting in front of me and I was determined to stay with them, and I did stay with them for the first 200 meters. Once we rounded the last corner though, something happened and my body began to slow down. I saw the other 3 runners moving so quickly, making it look SO EASY. I felt myself fight against my fears and tried to not get discouraged, but I didn't have enough faith in myself. I was about 50 meters away from the finish line when I just slowed down. I didn't remember what really happened until the next day when I couldn't sleep without dreaming about the scenario over and over and over. What happened was that I saw everyone else cross the finish line and thought there was no way in the world that I was anywhere close to 71 seconds. I literally thought I had already crossed the 90 second mark and was already embarassed about something that had not even happened yet. As much as I kept thinking that there was nothing else I could do, I believe now that my self doubt sabotaged my efforts. While I do believe that I was pushing my body as hard as I thought I could, I think there was more fight in there that I was not giving myself credit for. I have replayed the finish line over, and over, and over in my sleep and I practically grazed over the finish line. I thought there was no way that I could be anywhere close to the 71 seconds. They had all finished at least 10 seconds ago and clearly passed the test.
When I crossed the finish line we all walked towards the next phase, but I could feel it in the air that I had not passed. When the officer assigned to me called my name, I knew what he was going to say...or so I thought. I looked at him and said "It's okay, I was too slow, wasn't I?" I never would have dreamed what he would say next though. He acted like he really didn't want to tell me the results for some reason. "Well, yeah....you had to make 71 seconds, you made 73." 73???????? 73, not 93, not 103. 73. I was only 2 seconds off. Although everyone else had finished so far ahead of me, I still could have been fast enough but I thought there was no way I was anywhere close. I let self doubt dictate this race that I had worked so hard to complete and pass. I still believe I pushed as hard as I could for 90% of the race, so hard that I actually may have pulled something (oops), but I actually was running fast enough. Little 'ol short me, I was running fast enough - I just didn't believe it was possible.
Since I did not pass the sprint, I was not able to take any further tests and was disqualified. The officers were so gracious and encouraging, and they told me to keep trying. As easy as it would be to feel sorry for myself and say "screw this, I've worked my tail off for 15 months only to fail?!?!", that is no longer who I choose to allow myself to be. I didn't pass the test, but I didn't fail. You fail when you give up on yourself and you stop trying again. You fail when you tell yourself that you're not worth the sacrifice. You fail when you decide that the pain of regret is softer than the pain of discipline. I refuse to give up, and I refuse to stop trying. Even though I could have ran fast enough, I had to push my body to its limit - which means I still have a ways to go. Yes, after 15 months there is still work to be done but I am ok with that.
Are you allowing self-doubt to creep in and sweep away your dreams? Are you on the verge of giving up because you don't believe you can get to the next level? What you don't realize is that you are much more capable of achieving your dreams than you let yourself believe. The problem is, you can't envision yourself achieving that goal just yet so you don't think it can be done. IT CAN BE DONE, and YOU CAN DO IT. Stop second guessing yourself, and stop selling yourself short. I refuse to stop trying, no matter how many time I have to try. One day I will become a police officer and finally be able to put my passions into play, but I will never get there if I give up. 2 seconds could cause a person to quit out of frustration, but I will choose to use it as fuel to remind myself that I really CAN do this. I was doing it, I just stopped myself.
So, our plan for test day (Friday, March 16th) was for Jon to take Kaylee in to daycare so that I could get extra sleep and take my time to mentally prepare before the test. Well, I woke up at 7:00am to the sound of a barking cough coming from down the hall. Kaylee had woken up with croup. Not only could she not go to daycare, but we only have 1 car, so I had to find a way to the test via bus because Jon had to take her to the doctor. Everything was thrown for a loop and I was pretty distracted all morning. We figured it all out and I found a bus route that got me to the area about an hour early. I sat in a Subway for about 35 minutes just gathering my thoughts and reading the TONS of encouraging messages many of my friends and family sent to me that morning. I felt as prepared as I could be, and finally it was time.
I walked to Civic Field and checked in. There were officers all over and they were very friendly to everyone. As soon as I checked in, I was introduced to the officer who was in charge of our group. He said that he knew of me because one of the officers mentioned my name, and she remembered me from the Citizen's Academy. This was very encouraging, but also made me nervous because they already knew who I was. It was cold, raining, and windy (lovely NorthWest combination...thanks mother nature). There were 4 people in my group, including myself. We walked down to the field to start the 300m sprint. This was the first round, and if you don't pass then you don't move on. The minimum time to complete the 300m sprint is 71 seconds. We were lined up on the track, and I was in the very back which meant that I could see everyone else lined up in front of me. There were several officers along the track, keeping track and watching everyone. Each runner was assigned an officer who kept score.
As soon as they counted us down, "3...2...1...GO" I sprinted off faster than I have ever ran before. I saw everyone sprinting in front of me and I was determined to stay with them, and I did stay with them for the first 200 meters. Once we rounded the last corner though, something happened and my body began to slow down. I saw the other 3 runners moving so quickly, making it look SO EASY. I felt myself fight against my fears and tried to not get discouraged, but I didn't have enough faith in myself. I was about 50 meters away from the finish line when I just slowed down. I didn't remember what really happened until the next day when I couldn't sleep without dreaming about the scenario over and over and over. What happened was that I saw everyone else cross the finish line and thought there was no way in the world that I was anywhere close to 71 seconds. I literally thought I had already crossed the 90 second mark and was already embarassed about something that had not even happened yet. As much as I kept thinking that there was nothing else I could do, I believe now that my self doubt sabotaged my efforts. While I do believe that I was pushing my body as hard as I thought I could, I think there was more fight in there that I was not giving myself credit for. I have replayed the finish line over, and over, and over in my sleep and I practically grazed over the finish line. I thought there was no way that I could be anywhere close to the 71 seconds. They had all finished at least 10 seconds ago and clearly passed the test.
When I crossed the finish line we all walked towards the next phase, but I could feel it in the air that I had not passed. When the officer assigned to me called my name, I knew what he was going to say...or so I thought. I looked at him and said "It's okay, I was too slow, wasn't I?" I never would have dreamed what he would say next though. He acted like he really didn't want to tell me the results for some reason. "Well, yeah....you had to make 71 seconds, you made 73." 73???????? 73, not 93, not 103. 73. I was only 2 seconds off. Although everyone else had finished so far ahead of me, I still could have been fast enough but I thought there was no way I was anywhere close. I let self doubt dictate this race that I had worked so hard to complete and pass. I still believe I pushed as hard as I could for 90% of the race, so hard that I actually may have pulled something (oops), but I actually was running fast enough. Little 'ol short me, I was running fast enough - I just didn't believe it was possible.
Since I did not pass the sprint, I was not able to take any further tests and was disqualified. The officers were so gracious and encouraging, and they told me to keep trying. As easy as it would be to feel sorry for myself and say "screw this, I've worked my tail off for 15 months only to fail?!?!", that is no longer who I choose to allow myself to be. I didn't pass the test, but I didn't fail. You fail when you give up on yourself and you stop trying again. You fail when you tell yourself that you're not worth the sacrifice. You fail when you decide that the pain of regret is softer than the pain of discipline. I refuse to give up, and I refuse to stop trying. Even though I could have ran fast enough, I had to push my body to its limit - which means I still have a ways to go. Yes, after 15 months there is still work to be done but I am ok with that.
Are you allowing self-doubt to creep in and sweep away your dreams? Are you on the verge of giving up because you don't believe you can get to the next level? What you don't realize is that you are much more capable of achieving your dreams than you let yourself believe. The problem is, you can't envision yourself achieving that goal just yet so you don't think it can be done. IT CAN BE DONE, and YOU CAN DO IT. Stop second guessing yourself, and stop selling yourself short. I refuse to stop trying, no matter how many time I have to try. One day I will become a police officer and finally be able to put my passions into play, but I will never get there if I give up. 2 seconds could cause a person to quit out of frustration, but I will choose to use it as fuel to remind myself that I really CAN do this. I was doing it, I just stopped myself.
Monday, March 12, 2012
The Test...it's finally here
I have hesitated to write again until this week is over. Part of me is afraid of "jinxing" it, and part of me is afraid of everyone seeing me fail if I don't meet the standards. Friday is a big day this week, a day that I have looked forward to for many months. At 12:00pm I will be taking the Physical Agility Test for the Bellingham Police Department. There will be 4 tests (1.5mi run, 300m sprint, sit-ups, push-ups) and I will be interviewed while I am tested. This day used to seem so far away, and part of me wishes time would stand still so I could wait a little longer. However, my heart tells me that I am ready to give this the best attempt at anything I ever have before. I've trained hard, and I am going into this with no regrets this time. If I am not ready, then I need to be okay with that. Not everyone can pass this test. In order to be able to get through the Academy, you've got to be up to the physical standards of their training.
I wish more than anything that my time has finally come and I pass with flying colors. As much as I have put it out there, sometimes I wonder if I should have just kept quiet. It's easier to not put yourself out there and fail, then no one knows about it and you can be the only one who is disappointed in yourself, right? I used to think so. Now I know better. Never sharing your dreams is a lonely way to live because you do not have anyone to celebrate it with when you finally see those dreams come true. You also lose the abilty to help others through their struggles if you fail to share your own. Coming to the realization that I was in the worst shape of my life when I graduated college was painful. I had just spent the last 4 years working full-time, going to school full-time, getting married, and having a baby with several complications. I got through it, but little did I know that I had yet to face the hardest part. It's been a long 13 months, but I wouldn't trade the lessons I have learned for anything. You have to want something bad enough in order to turn your life around. If it is worth having, it is worth giving up comfort for. I think that we should all embrace our biggest life dream and share it with those who are in our lives. You find out who your true friends are, and you find out who is dragging you down.
Friday will be a big day, and I'm trying to keep my nerves calm until then as much as possible. I have noticed that I tend to psyche myself out when I want to achieve something physically lately. It's been a weird cycle lately that I'm trying to break through. My hope and prayer for Friday is that I just let go and enjoy the process. It's clear that if I'm not ready by now then I won't be ready by Friday, so I need to just go in there and give it everything I've got. I hope they can at least learn how much I want to be a part of this amazing department and how much work has gone into getting this far.
As scary as it is to put it out there, I'm okay with what happens. I have to be, because there is nothing to be ashamed of. My CrossFit family has helped me realize that you should always be proud of yourself for trying something hard, even when it doesn't go as planned. No matter what happens, you are farther along than you were yesterday and the wall you are trying to break through is now one brick shorter.
I wish more than anything that my time has finally come and I pass with flying colors. As much as I have put it out there, sometimes I wonder if I should have just kept quiet. It's easier to not put yourself out there and fail, then no one knows about it and you can be the only one who is disappointed in yourself, right? I used to think so. Now I know better. Never sharing your dreams is a lonely way to live because you do not have anyone to celebrate it with when you finally see those dreams come true. You also lose the abilty to help others through their struggles if you fail to share your own. Coming to the realization that I was in the worst shape of my life when I graduated college was painful. I had just spent the last 4 years working full-time, going to school full-time, getting married, and having a baby with several complications. I got through it, but little did I know that I had yet to face the hardest part. It's been a long 13 months, but I wouldn't trade the lessons I have learned for anything. You have to want something bad enough in order to turn your life around. If it is worth having, it is worth giving up comfort for. I think that we should all embrace our biggest life dream and share it with those who are in our lives. You find out who your true friends are, and you find out who is dragging you down.
Friday will be a big day, and I'm trying to keep my nerves calm until then as much as possible. I have noticed that I tend to psyche myself out when I want to achieve something physically lately. It's been a weird cycle lately that I'm trying to break through. My hope and prayer for Friday is that I just let go and enjoy the process. It's clear that if I'm not ready by now then I won't be ready by Friday, so I need to just go in there and give it everything I've got. I hope they can at least learn how much I want to be a part of this amazing department and how much work has gone into getting this far.
As scary as it is to put it out there, I'm okay with what happens. I have to be, because there is nothing to be ashamed of. My CrossFit family has helped me realize that you should always be proud of yourself for trying something hard, even when it doesn't go as planned. No matter what happens, you are farther along than you were yesterday and the wall you are trying to break through is now one brick shorter.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
What is your "18 inches"?
There are times in our lives when we make a commitment to change something about ourselves because we have simply had enough. We are tired of living the same way day in and day out, without ever reaching the potential that God has in store for us. That change may be physical, emotional, mental, relational, or a combination of several. Whatever the reason, you decided that you were finally worth the effort. Days go by, weeks go by, and then for the first time in your life...months go by. It's the first time you haven't quit on yourself. You gain a new sense of self-confidence as each day passes without you falling off the bandwagon. Your former self would have quit a long time ago, because you keep telling yourself "you always eventually quit, so you might as well give up now". Your former self would take the easy way out, yet endure the pain of letting yourself down again.
Never stop trying again. Never. This has now become your new motto, and it keeps you going when things seem tough. It keeps you going when you slip up and have something not on your new lifestyle menu, or you choose sleep over that 5:30am workout. Just when you feel that you're on the upswing of this new journey, you are reminded once again that there are things you still can't do. There's still something that you really wish you could do, but you haven't conquered that yet. For many of you, that might be running your first mile, or doing your first perfect-form push-up. For others of you, it might be loosing 50lbs and being able to hold your bodyweight over your head. For me, it was an 18" metal box that has taunted me ever since I was able to complete 12" box jumps without much effort.
18 inches...I am 3.3 times taller than 18 inches, yet it still seemed so tall. Every Saturday when the big CFX workout happens and the crew comes out in full force, it was becoming harder and harder to not be self conscious about still having to use the 12 inch box. It's probably the only thing I've been self conscious about while at our box. For some reason I swear it would taunt me just saying "this is one thing you CAN'T do, you just can't jump this high". So, I would listen to the stupid piece of metal and only jump 12" each time, while feeling like I could do twice as many as required and still not be winded yet. I allowed myself to give in to the intimidation.
Last week, that 18" piece of metal finally lost. Skill work for the morning was snatches and tall box jumps. I knew this was finally my time to get over my fear of not jumping high enough. Yes, I'm short....but dang-it, if girls like Carly (one of the sweetest and strongest CFX girls I know, and just as short as me) can jump on 24" boxes then surely I can manage 18"! Right? Right? Well, I wasn't sure, so I leaned on my coach for guidance and finally conquered something that was trying to get the best of me. I first used 2 PVC pipes [which we use for stretching] to propel me up onto the box. Then I did running leaps towards the box. Then I finally made it, freaking myself out so much that I quickly jumped down :). I had to do it again just to make sure it was not a fluke, and sure enough, I can now do 18" box jumps with a smile. Another step forward was moving from a green band on the pull-up bars to blue. When I started CrossFit I couldn't even do black-banded pull-ups. I had absolutely NO strength. To know that I am only 2 bands away from having an unassisted pull-up is crazy.
The only reason I was finally able to get that 18" box jump is because I refused to let intimidation win, and I leaned on those who I knew believed in myself more than I did at the time. My coach told me he knew I could do it. Even though I am sure he tells that to everyone, I knew in my heart that he really DID believe I could do it. That's when I had to just do what he told me. When things feel hard and it doesn't seem like you can do it......just do what they say. Tell the negative voices in your head to shut up, and listen to the words of someone who is trying to help you change your life. You are worth so much more than the intimidation brought on by your own "18 inches", whatever that may be. If you want it bad enough, you will find a way to get past those 18 inches. It hurts, and it's scary, but the changes you can make in your life will rock your world!
I know I say it over and over again, but I am so glad I found CrossfitX and the rest of the CrossFit community. They truly want to see you reach your full potential, no matter what level you are at. Whatever that source of encouragement is for you, find it and never let go. The pain of discipline hurts....but it NEVER hurts more than the pain of regret. Give the gift of chance to yourself. Your journey is waiting for you.
Never stop trying again. Never. This has now become your new motto, and it keeps you going when things seem tough. It keeps you going when you slip up and have something not on your new lifestyle menu, or you choose sleep over that 5:30am workout. Just when you feel that you're on the upswing of this new journey, you are reminded once again that there are things you still can't do. There's still something that you really wish you could do, but you haven't conquered that yet. For many of you, that might be running your first mile, or doing your first perfect-form push-up. For others of you, it might be loosing 50lbs and being able to hold your bodyweight over your head. For me, it was an 18" metal box that has taunted me ever since I was able to complete 12" box jumps without much effort.
18 inches...I am 3.3 times taller than 18 inches, yet it still seemed so tall. Every Saturday when the big CFX workout happens and the crew comes out in full force, it was becoming harder and harder to not be self conscious about still having to use the 12 inch box. It's probably the only thing I've been self conscious about while at our box. For some reason I swear it would taunt me just saying "this is one thing you CAN'T do, you just can't jump this high". So, I would listen to the stupid piece of metal and only jump 12" each time, while feeling like I could do twice as many as required and still not be winded yet. I allowed myself to give in to the intimidation.
Last week, that 18" piece of metal finally lost. Skill work for the morning was snatches and tall box jumps. I knew this was finally my time to get over my fear of not jumping high enough. Yes, I'm short....but dang-it, if girls like Carly (one of the sweetest and strongest CFX girls I know, and just as short as me) can jump on 24" boxes then surely I can manage 18"! Right? Right? Well, I wasn't sure, so I leaned on my coach for guidance and finally conquered something that was trying to get the best of me. I first used 2 PVC pipes [which we use for stretching] to propel me up onto the box. Then I did running leaps towards the box. Then I finally made it, freaking myself out so much that I quickly jumped down :). I had to do it again just to make sure it was not a fluke, and sure enough, I can now do 18" box jumps with a smile. Another step forward was moving from a green band on the pull-up bars to blue. When I started CrossFit I couldn't even do black-banded pull-ups. I had absolutely NO strength. To know that I am only 2 bands away from having an unassisted pull-up is crazy.
The only reason I was finally able to get that 18" box jump is because I refused to let intimidation win, and I leaned on those who I knew believed in myself more than I did at the time. My coach told me he knew I could do it. Even though I am sure he tells that to everyone, I knew in my heart that he really DID believe I could do it. That's when I had to just do what he told me. When things feel hard and it doesn't seem like you can do it......just do what they say. Tell the negative voices in your head to shut up, and listen to the words of someone who is trying to help you change your life. You are worth so much more than the intimidation brought on by your own "18 inches", whatever that may be. If you want it bad enough, you will find a way to get past those 18 inches. It hurts, and it's scary, but the changes you can make in your life will rock your world!
I know I say it over and over again, but I am so glad I found CrossfitX and the rest of the CrossFit community. They truly want to see you reach your full potential, no matter what level you are at. Whatever that source of encouragement is for you, find it and never let go. The pain of discipline hurts....but it NEVER hurts more than the pain of regret. Give the gift of chance to yourself. Your journey is waiting for you.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Checking in: Day 21 of 45
Some days it seems like 21 days went quickly, while other days we think "are we DONE yet??". The Paleo Challenge has been a huge change of pace in the Hanson home, but one we are still glad that we decided to participate. I have seen huge changes in Jon, especially in the way his clothes fit. Just a month ago, he got a pair of jeans out that were too tight to wear. Now they are baggy on him. He's doing great! I've felt more changes than I have "seen". My performance at CrossfitX has seen tremendous improvements since going strict Paleo. I have more stamina than I used to, and I am ready to go for extra rounds at the end of the workout when I usually would be laying on the floor after a WOD.
Tuesday night was the moment when I realized just how important nutrition is to my body. You can have a trainer, or anyone for that matter, tell you over and over how much performance improvement you will see when you put your nutrition in check....but until you FEEL it yourself I don't think the light bulb will come on. I finally felt that this week. Tuesdays and Thursdays I workout at CFX in the morning, and then do my own workout (mostly cardio) at night. We have a small room at the apartment office that has a few machines, including a treadmill. For those of you who know me, or have known me since I started at CFX 13 months ago, I am *not* a runner. If you asked me which part of the law enforcement PAT is most intimidating, I will have to say the run/sprint. In order to achieve the minimum-passing score on the 1.5mi run, I have to complete it in under 14:32. I have a wonderful friend, Susie, who helped me get over the mental aspect of running the 1.5mi without stopping. But my time was always around 15 or 16 minutes and I felt like I was going to pass out when it was over. Tuesday night was a turning point for me. I told myself that I was not going to stop, and kept hearing my trainer, Travis, telling me "you can do anything for 1 minute" and just kept repeating that as each minute passed. I set the speed to 8.0 and just ran, faster than I have ever ran before, and I didn't stop. I completed that 1.5mi in 11:15! Of course, this was on a treadmill so once I got the rhythm down it was just a matter of not stopping. I am anxious to try the track again when it's not raining. I only wish I had my phone with me to take a picture, because that meant so much. I still view myself as the "fat girl" many days. It's like the syndrome that size 0 models have who think they are fat. I believe I will fight that image the rest of my life, but feeling the difference that Crossfit and Paleo has made is what I needed to keep pushing.
WWU opened a position for campus police this last week, and yes, the application is already submitted :). City of Bellingham also opened the applications for entry level officer, for which I will submit the application this week. Things are moving fast, and only God knows what will happen. But I know that if I continue to come to class, and I continue to take the advice (and implement it!) that my trainers give me, I will one day realize the dream I have for me and our family. I'm nervous as can be, but so tremendously thankful to everyone at CFX, they truly are family to me.
________________________
I don't have a menu plan this week, as I am simplifying things for the next 7 days. Our meals will be pretty simple, and perhaps a little boring, but I'm going to start trying to figure out Zone while still eating Paleo. It's intimidating, but I think I can do it. I've got lots to research and plan if I am going to take it on, but apparently it should kick-start things even quicker.
I'm not sure who all even reads our blog anymore, but I am hoping that somewhere out there, someone will take a chance on themselves because they deserve it. Have a good week!
Tuesday night was the moment when I realized just how important nutrition is to my body. You can have a trainer, or anyone for that matter, tell you over and over how much performance improvement you will see when you put your nutrition in check....but until you FEEL it yourself I don't think the light bulb will come on. I finally felt that this week. Tuesdays and Thursdays I workout at CFX in the morning, and then do my own workout (mostly cardio) at night. We have a small room at the apartment office that has a few machines, including a treadmill. For those of you who know me, or have known me since I started at CFX 13 months ago, I am *not* a runner. If you asked me which part of the law enforcement PAT is most intimidating, I will have to say the run/sprint. In order to achieve the minimum-passing score on the 1.5mi run, I have to complete it in under 14:32. I have a wonderful friend, Susie, who helped me get over the mental aspect of running the 1.5mi without stopping. But my time was always around 15 or 16 minutes and I felt like I was going to pass out when it was over. Tuesday night was a turning point for me. I told myself that I was not going to stop, and kept hearing my trainer, Travis, telling me "you can do anything for 1 minute" and just kept repeating that as each minute passed. I set the speed to 8.0 and just ran, faster than I have ever ran before, and I didn't stop. I completed that 1.5mi in 11:15! Of course, this was on a treadmill so once I got the rhythm down it was just a matter of not stopping. I am anxious to try the track again when it's not raining. I only wish I had my phone with me to take a picture, because that meant so much. I still view myself as the "fat girl" many days. It's like the syndrome that size 0 models have who think they are fat. I believe I will fight that image the rest of my life, but feeling the difference that Crossfit and Paleo has made is what I needed to keep pushing.
WWU opened a position for campus police this last week, and yes, the application is already submitted :). City of Bellingham also opened the applications for entry level officer, for which I will submit the application this week. Things are moving fast, and only God knows what will happen. But I know that if I continue to come to class, and I continue to take the advice (and implement it!) that my trainers give me, I will one day realize the dream I have for me and our family. I'm nervous as can be, but so tremendously thankful to everyone at CFX, they truly are family to me.
________________________
I don't have a menu plan this week, as I am simplifying things for the next 7 days. Our meals will be pretty simple, and perhaps a little boring, but I'm going to start trying to figure out Zone while still eating Paleo. It's intimidating, but I think I can do it. I've got lots to research and plan if I am going to take it on, but apparently it should kick-start things even quicker.
I'm not sure who all even reads our blog anymore, but I am hoping that somewhere out there, someone will take a chance on themselves because they deserve it. Have a good week!
Monday, January 23, 2012
Ham & Egg Cups
These have become a weekly staple in our house because they are so easy, and so tasty!
Ham & Egg Cups
- 1/2C mushrooms, finely chopped
- 1/2C shallots, finely chopped
- 12 large eggs
- 12 ham slices
1. Preheat oven to 350
2. Saute shallots and mushrooms in skillet
3. Coat muffin pan with olive oil (I use coconut oil). Place ham slices in the muffin pan cups. You may want to cut a sliver in the ham slice to allow it to fold over itself when placed in the muffin pan.
4. Spoon the shallots and mushroom mixture into each ham cup.
5. Crack an individual egg into each ham cup.
6. Cook for 15 minutes or until the ham edges are crisp.
We have eaten on these for up to 4 days and they still taste great. If you eat them right out of the oven, it has the texture of a poached egg. Once they are refrigerated, and you reheat them in the microwave though, the egg becomes more cooked. I've also made them with bell pepper and onions in them and always put black pepper on the top for taste. This isn't the best picture, but this is how I had one the other day for a mid-day snack:
Ham & Egg Cups
- 1/2C mushrooms, finely chopped
- 1/2C shallots, finely chopped
- 12 large eggs
- 12 ham slices
1. Preheat oven to 350
2. Saute shallots and mushrooms in skillet
3. Coat muffin pan with olive oil (I use coconut oil). Place ham slices in the muffin pan cups. You may want to cut a sliver in the ham slice to allow it to fold over itself when placed in the muffin pan.
4. Spoon the shallots and mushroom mixture into each ham cup.
5. Crack an individual egg into each ham cup.
6. Cook for 15 minutes or until the ham edges are crisp.
We have eaten on these for up to 4 days and they still taste great. If you eat them right out of the oven, it has the texture of a poached egg. Once they are refrigerated, and you reheat them in the microwave though, the egg becomes more cooked. I've also made them with bell pepper and onions in them and always put black pepper on the top for taste. This isn't the best picture, but this is how I had one the other day for a mid-day snack:
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Day 12, more recipes!
What a busy week this has been! I don't quite have my new weekly menu up yet, but we have tried many new dishes this week that were a success. I will share some more recipes below. Tonight we had dinner at my in-laws house and we brought our own food to eat, dessert included. I was very proud of us both for making good choices because, trust me, it would have been SO much easier to let someone else cook for me and eat the blackberry pie that they had for dessert. Walking away from dinner tonight knowing that I just filled up on healthy food and didn't touch anything bad was a great feeling. Not to mention I was stuffed! I have made quite a few things the last 24 hours: a dozen ham & egg cups, a turkey loaf, a sweet potato casserole, kale chips, sweet potato spears, hamburger patties, and sauteed apples. Here's a few recipes...as requested!
All the recipes I have been using are from Paleo Comfort Foods, which you need to go out and buy, NOW! It's fantastic, so easy to use, and my favorite part is that there is a picture of every recipe, so you know what it is supposed to look like!
__________________________________
Sweet Potato Spears (substitute for french fries, feed THESE to your kids instead!)
- 4 medium-sized sweet potatoes, cut into spears
- 1/4C extra virgin olive oil
- 2tsp cumin
- 1/2tsp salt
- 1/2tsp pepper
1. Preheat oven to 400, cover 2 cookie sheets with foil
2. Toss sweet potatoes with olive oil, cumin, salt and pepper
3. Place on baking sheets, do not crowd the pieces
4. Cook for 30-40 minutes, turning twice
______________________________________________
We had all 3 of these today and they were fantastic. For lunch we had hamburger patties, sweet potato spears and turkey bacon. I finally was able to make the turkey bacon crispy, so I was excited!! The sweet potato casserole will feed us for about 3 days. It is so sweet it almost tastes like dessert, so it's really enjoyable on lunch breaks at work when I usually would cave and eat some candy or drink a Diet Coke. Sweet potatoes have helped me kick a lot of cravings actually. I think Jon gets tired of them though, so I try to find other things to use as a substitute. If you're interested, here's some workouts this week...it was a great week at CFX!
** WORKOUTS **
Monday
- Strength work: find a new 3 rep max on back squat...120lbs!
- WOD: 4 minute row for calories (51), rest 4 minutes
4 minute AMRAP: 10 box jumps, 10 pull-ups (3 rounds + 10 box jumps)
4 minute rest
4 minute AMRAP: 90 jump ropes, 10 knees to chest on pull-up bar (2 rounds + 5 K2C)
Tuesday
- Strength work: find new 3 rep max on press....only got to 75lbs
- WOD: 5 sets of 2 minute rounds. Within 2 minutes: row 250m and push press (75lbs) the remainder of the time. I ended up doing 53 push presses total
- Tuesday night: ran 2 miles
Wednesday
- This is my off day
Thursday
- Strength work: find new 3RM on deadlift....135lbs!
- WOD: 3 rounds for time: 500m row
15 push-ups
25 kettlebell swings (35lbs)
[12:29]
Friday
- Strength work: find new 3RM on front squat...105lbs!
All the recipes I have been using are from Paleo Comfort Foods, which you need to go out and buy, NOW! It's fantastic, so easy to use, and my favorite part is that there is a picture of every recipe, so you know what it is supposed to look like!
Sweet Potato Casserole:
- 2 lbs sweet potatoes
- 1/4 C coconut milk
- 2 large eggs, beaten
- 1tsp vanilla
- 1tbsp coconut oil or grass-fed butter
- 2tsp cinnamon
- 1tsp nutmeg
- 1tsp lemon zest [left this out, didn't have any lemons]
- salt and pepper to taste [left this out too]
- 1/2C chopped pecans
*Extra ingredient I added - 1/3C shredded unsweetened coconut
1. Peel sweet potatoes and cut into equal cubes. Place in pot, cover with water, boil until soft (about 10min)
2. Preheat oven to 350
3. Drain potatoes and return to pot. Using hand mixer, mix in coconut milk
4. Add eggs, vanilla, oil, cinnamon, nutmeg and lemon zest
5. Place mixture into a 9x9" dish [I use an 8x8 and it's perfect]
6. Sprinkle chopped pecans [and coconut] on to
7. Bake for 30 minutes until golden brown on top
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Sauteed Apples
- 3 apples, cored and sliced (used Pink Lady apples)
- 1tbsp grass-fed butter
- 2tsp cinnamon
- 1/2C chopped pecans
1. Bring frying pan to medium-high heat
2. Toast pecans for 3-4 minutes and then add butter
3. Add the apples and cinnamon
4. Saute for 5-7 minutes
I swear this tasted like apple pie without the filling, it was wonderful! I have also created a version of this from Easy Paleo's website that involves using coconut milk in the mixture. It tastes about the same, but I think I like this recipe a bit more because of the nuts. You could substitute nuts for raisins if you would like.
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Sweet Potato Spears (substitute for french fries, feed THESE to your kids instead!)
- 4 medium-sized sweet potatoes, cut into spears
- 1/4C extra virgin olive oil
- 2tsp cumin
- 1/2tsp salt
- 1/2tsp pepper
1. Preheat oven to 400, cover 2 cookie sheets with foil
2. Toss sweet potatoes with olive oil, cumin, salt and pepper
3. Place on baking sheets, do not crowd the pieces
4. Cook for 30-40 minutes, turning twice
______________________________________________
We had all 3 of these today and they were fantastic. For lunch we had hamburger patties, sweet potato spears and turkey bacon. I finally was able to make the turkey bacon crispy, so I was excited!! The sweet potato casserole will feed us for about 3 days. It is so sweet it almost tastes like dessert, so it's really enjoyable on lunch breaks at work when I usually would cave and eat some candy or drink a Diet Coke. Sweet potatoes have helped me kick a lot of cravings actually. I think Jon gets tired of them though, so I try to find other things to use as a substitute. If you're interested, here's some workouts this week...it was a great week at CFX!
** WORKOUTS **
Monday
- Strength work: find a new 3 rep max on back squat...120lbs!
- WOD: 4 minute row for calories (51), rest 4 minutes
4 minute AMRAP: 10 box jumps, 10 pull-ups (3 rounds + 10 box jumps)
4 minute rest
4 minute AMRAP: 90 jump ropes, 10 knees to chest on pull-up bar (2 rounds + 5 K2C)
Tuesday
- Strength work: find new 3 rep max on press....only got to 75lbs
- WOD: 5 sets of 2 minute rounds. Within 2 minutes: row 250m and push press (75lbs) the remainder of the time. I ended up doing 53 push presses total
- Tuesday night: ran 2 miles
Wednesday
- This is my off day
Thursday
- Strength work: find new 3RM on deadlift....135lbs!
- WOD: 3 rounds for time: 500m row
15 push-ups
25 kettlebell swings (35lbs)
[12:29]
Friday
- Strength work: find new 3RM on front squat...105lbs!
- WOD: 10min. AMRAP: 5 burpee pull-ups
10 KB swings (35lbs)
20 dumbell walking lunges
[4 rounds + 5 KB swings]
Saturday
- WOD: 4x10m burpee broad jumps
7 rounds: 5 KB Press (26lbs)
10 KB front squat (35lbs)
15 KB swings (35lbs)
4x10m burpee broad jumps
[21:09]
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Week 2: Menu Plan
Week 2 is upon us and here's what we have going for the menu. I won't list the lunch items because it will always be leftovers from dinner the night before. That has been working out well, and I'm getting used to cooking in larger quantities to make that happen:
Sunday
B: Egg & Ham cups
D: Steak & Kale chips
Monday
B: Egg muffins
D: Grilled Chicken; Sauteed green beans
Tuesday
B: Hard boiled eggs & fruit
D: Taco Salads
Wednesday
B: Egg muffins
D: Tilapia and Broccoli
- Will cook Polska Kilbasa sausage and Kale chips for lunch tomorrow also
Thursday
B: Sausage & eggs
D: Chili
Friday
B: Morning Glory muffins & hard boiled eggs
D: Shrimp Skillet
We were very pleasantly surprised when we went grocery shopping this weekend and did not spend any more than we usually would have when buying "junk". I am searching the ads each week to make sure we get the good deals on items we eat a lot of (apples, ground turkey, chicken, kale) and that seems to be helping. Used to I would think it was a waste of time to shop at several different stores for what I need, but I have found a great deal of savings in doing that. If I plan well then it works out fine. We usually have to make a mid-week grocery run for tomatoes since those don't seem to keep very long in our apartment.
We are a week into the challenge and so far, Jon is down 6lbs and I am down 4lbs....I'll take it! But more important than the weight loss is that our energy levels are more stable, my lovely female hormone levels are stable (woohoo!) and we are enjoying doing this together as a couple. The only problem I have been having is a headache that will not go away, but I have realized it is probably my eyes adjusting. I had LASIK 4 months ago and they still change from time to time from clear to a bit blurry. This week has been very blurry, so I am 99% sure that is the cause of the headache.
Well, we are excited for a new week and are ready to try some new recipes out! If you see a specific item that you would like the recipe for, let me know. Otherwise we will probably post our favorites again at the end of the week.
Sunday
B: Egg & Ham cups
D: Steak & Kale chips
Monday
B: Egg muffins
D: Grilled Chicken; Sauteed green beans
Tuesday
B: Hard boiled eggs & fruit
D: Taco Salads
Wednesday
B: Egg muffins
D: Tilapia and Broccoli
- Will cook Polska Kilbasa sausage and Kale chips for lunch tomorrow also
Thursday
B: Sausage & eggs
D: Chili
Friday
B: Morning Glory muffins & hard boiled eggs
D: Shrimp Skillet
We were very pleasantly surprised when we went grocery shopping this weekend and did not spend any more than we usually would have when buying "junk". I am searching the ads each week to make sure we get the good deals on items we eat a lot of (apples, ground turkey, chicken, kale) and that seems to be helping. Used to I would think it was a waste of time to shop at several different stores for what I need, but I have found a great deal of savings in doing that. If I plan well then it works out fine. We usually have to make a mid-week grocery run for tomatoes since those don't seem to keep very long in our apartment.
We are a week into the challenge and so far, Jon is down 6lbs and I am down 4lbs....I'll take it! But more important than the weight loss is that our energy levels are more stable, my lovely female hormone levels are stable (woohoo!) and we are enjoying doing this together as a couple. The only problem I have been having is a headache that will not go away, but I have realized it is probably my eyes adjusting. I had LASIK 4 months ago and they still change from time to time from clear to a bit blurry. This week has been very blurry, so I am 99% sure that is the cause of the headache.
Well, we are excited for a new week and are ready to try some new recipes out! If you see a specific item that you would like the recipe for, let me know. Otherwise we will probably post our favorites again at the end of the week.
Friday, January 13, 2012
Day 1-5 Recipes!
Ask and you shall receive! Here are a few of the recipes I used this week. All of them are from "Paleo Comfort Foods" by Julie & Charles Mayfield. I have never seen a cookbook so pretty :) and I absolutely loved everything we had this week. Thank you to Julie & Charles for helping us make this Paleo Challenge a success so far!
Turkey Loafing (a spin on meatloaf)
2 medium sweet onions, chopped
1 red bell pepper, chopped
1 tsp kosher salt (we use sea salt)
1 tsp black pepper
1 tsp thyme
1 tsp garlic powder
2 tbsp coconut oil
1 tbsp tomato paste
1/2 c chicken stock
1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
2 large eggs
4lbs ground turkey
1 c Cave Ketchup (this is Paleo ketchup, but you can use regular ketchup if you are not doing Paleo. However, I highly recommend it so you are not eating the sugar that is in normal ketchup)
1. Preheat oven to 325
2. Saute onions, red pepper, and all spices with coconut oil over medium heat until onions become translucent. Remove from heat, stir in tomato paste, stock and Worcestershire sauce.
3. In large bowl, crack eggs over your turkey and fold in the onion mix once it is cooled.
4. Place in casserole dish, no greasing required
5. Pour your Cave Ketchup over the top and bake for 90min. You want the internal temp at 160 degrees to know that it is cooked all the way through.
This recipe made a HUGE casserole dish of turkey loaf. We ate on it for 2 days, it was FABULOUS!
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Mashed Cauliflower (instead of mashed potatoes)
1 head fresh cauliflower
1 c chicken stock
1/4 tsp pepper
2 cloves garlic, crushed
1. Cut your cauliflower head into small chunks of the florets and stems.
2. Place all ingredients in a medium saucepan and bring to a boil.
3. Reduce heat to medium, cover, and allow to cook for 20 minutes. You may need to add more stock if it dries up too quickly.
4. Pour cauliflower and all ingredients into the bowl of a food processor, or keep in pan and use a hand mixer or hand masher. Mix/mash until you reach the desired consistency.
I found that this recipe was wonderful, but I utilized the additional tips they gave of using chives and/or crumbled up bacon bits for additional flavor. This is a good alternative to mashed potatoes, and an easy way to get your family used to the taste of cauliflower.
_________________________________
Morning Glory Muffins
2 1/2 c almond flour (I make my own with raw almonds in the Bullet, saves money)
1 tbsp cinnamon
2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
2 cups carrots grated
1 large apple, peeled, cored and grated
1 c shredded coconut
1 c raisins
3 large eggs
2 tbsp honey (optional, and we did not use it)
1/2 c coconut or avocado oil
1tsp vanilla
1. Preheat oven to 350
2. Combine almond flour, cinnamon, baking soda, and salt into large bowl. Add carrot, apple, coconut and raisins. Combine well.
3. In separate bowl, whisk eggs, [honey], oil and vanilla together.
4. Pour this mixture over dry ingredients and mix well. The batter will be very thick.
5. Spoon into standard muffin cups.
6. Bake for 30 minutes (we baked them for almost 40).
This was my favorite thing of the week aside from the turkey loaf. I felt like I was cheating they were so yummy! Kaylee even enjoyed it, which made me smile :)
___________________________________
There were several other recipes we used this week but these were some of our favorites. We will use a couple of the same ones next week, along with new ones. Enjoy!
Turkey Loafing (a spin on meatloaf)
2 medium sweet onions, chopped
1 red bell pepper, chopped
1 tsp kosher salt (we use sea salt)
1 tsp black pepper
1 tsp thyme
1 tsp garlic powder
2 tbsp coconut oil
1 tbsp tomato paste
1/2 c chicken stock
1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
2 large eggs
4lbs ground turkey
1 c Cave Ketchup (this is Paleo ketchup, but you can use regular ketchup if you are not doing Paleo. However, I highly recommend it so you are not eating the sugar that is in normal ketchup)
1. Preheat oven to 325
2. Saute onions, red pepper, and all spices with coconut oil over medium heat until onions become translucent. Remove from heat, stir in tomato paste, stock and Worcestershire sauce.
3. In large bowl, crack eggs over your turkey and fold in the onion mix once it is cooled.
4. Place in casserole dish, no greasing required
5. Pour your Cave Ketchup over the top and bake for 90min. You want the internal temp at 160 degrees to know that it is cooked all the way through.
This recipe made a HUGE casserole dish of turkey loaf. We ate on it for 2 days, it was FABULOUS!
___________________________________
Mashed Cauliflower (instead of mashed potatoes)
1 head fresh cauliflower
1 c chicken stock
1/4 tsp pepper
2 cloves garlic, crushed
1. Cut your cauliflower head into small chunks of the florets and stems.
2. Place all ingredients in a medium saucepan and bring to a boil.
3. Reduce heat to medium, cover, and allow to cook for 20 minutes. You may need to add more stock if it dries up too quickly.
4. Pour cauliflower and all ingredients into the bowl of a food processor, or keep in pan and use a hand mixer or hand masher. Mix/mash until you reach the desired consistency.
I found that this recipe was wonderful, but I utilized the additional tips they gave of using chives and/or crumbled up bacon bits for additional flavor. This is a good alternative to mashed potatoes, and an easy way to get your family used to the taste of cauliflower.
_________________________________
Morning Glory Muffins
2 1/2 c almond flour (I make my own with raw almonds in the Bullet, saves money)
1 tbsp cinnamon
2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
2 cups carrots grated
1 large apple, peeled, cored and grated
1 c shredded coconut
1 c raisins
3 large eggs
2 tbsp honey (optional, and we did not use it)
1/2 c coconut or avocado oil
1tsp vanilla
1. Preheat oven to 350
2. Combine almond flour, cinnamon, baking soda, and salt into large bowl. Add carrot, apple, coconut and raisins. Combine well.
3. In separate bowl, whisk eggs, [honey], oil and vanilla together.
4. Pour this mixture over dry ingredients and mix well. The batter will be very thick.
5. Spoon into standard muffin cups.
6. Bake for 30 minutes (we baked them for almost 40).
This was my favorite thing of the week aside from the turkey loaf. I felt like I was cheating they were so yummy! Kaylee even enjoyed it, which made me smile :)
___________________________________
There were several other recipes we used this week but these were some of our favorites. We will use a couple of the same ones next week, along with new ones. Enjoy!
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Days 2-4
We have almost completed 4 days of the Paleo Challenge, and we're still going strong :). Jon continues to amaze me at his willingness to try these new foods, and his support he provides. I want to say how proud I am of him, and how much I pray each day that he continues on with the Challenge and sees it through. I think he will be very surprised at the results and how different his body feels. We both have seen our appetites reduce significantly, and we are able to experience the true "Full" feeling after eating very little. The quality of our food is so much better than it has ever been and it's wonderful! Tonight we are having Turkey Loaf from Paleo Comfort Foods. OMGosh...I actually had some this morning with eggs and it was AMAZING! Mom would be proud...I'm eating my meatloaf. I actually cooked it last night because it has to bake for 90 minutes. The house smelt wonderful for hours.
When my alarm went off this morning I could tell my body needed more rest, so I took the morning off at CFX. I missed it terribly, but I think I really did need the extra sleep. Tonight I will go do some working out on my own which will be good. It's freezing outside, so my plan to go running is a bust. I refuse to let convenience be an excuse anymore, as it used to rule my entire life. If it was too hard or too inconvenient, I hid away from it and didn't even try. CrossFit has helped me change that mentality to realize that I can find a way to do something, anything, and I can make it be as hard as I want it to be. Workouts can be modified, they can be simple or complex....but they count. Every wallball, every squat, every pull-up, every sit-up, every run, every movement you make your body do will count towards something. If anything, it will prevent it from going backwards in the direction you have always gone. Don't let excuses rule your world anymore.
One of my biggest "excuses" is mommy guilt. I am a full-time working mother who only gets to see her little girl about 1.5 hours each weekday. That's it. It tears me up inside if I let it get to me, I love her more than she will ever know but right now this is the life we have to live. I take advantage of every minute I see her and try to let her know she is my everything whenever I can. But there are some days when I feel so guilty for training at night instead of seeing her. Tuesdays and Thursdays are when I workout both in the morning and evening. I don't get to spend any time with her on these days, but Jon does a fantastic job of taking care of her. She knows I am at the gym (getting "stinky" as she calls it) and she knows I will be back in the morning. I can always count on her huge smile and big hug in the morning after she wakes up. The guilt I have is not from her or from my husband...it is from me. I am preventing myself from giving it my all sometimes.
For those moms out there who are worried about taking time away from your family to change your life - STOP. If you never changed a single thing about your lifestyle right now, how long do you think you would live? How much medication would you have to take the rest of your life if you got diabetes from a sedentary lifestyle? How much would it cost your family to put you in a nursing home when you are old and not mobile enough to take care of yourself? How much would those doctors bills cost each year when your immune system is shot because all you feed your body is junk? What will you miss out on in your children's lives when you die at a young age because you didn't take care of yourself the way you should have? The cost of living a convenient and sedentary lifestyle is so much more expensive than the sacrifice you make for a few short years to correct the problems in your life. The hard work is not forever....there will be a day when I am finally in maintenance mode and do not have to work myself to the bone in order to keep pushing towards these goals. (The problem with that is I am now a self-proclaimed CrossFit junkie and LOVE it, so I probably will still go 6 times a week anyway! but you get the point). Just like when I was working full-time and going to school full-time....there was an end in sight and that is what kept me going. Starting was only half the battle. Take some time to really analyze yourself and what quality of life your are missing out on because you are too afraid, or too unwilling to change. If you need help to make those changes, ASK! My husband continues to amaze me every single day at how supportive he is, and how he is always willing to let me take that extra class, go for a run, etc. if it means it is helping me get better. Why? Because I am a better mother, wife, and person for it. He sees the joy I experience from being a part of the team at CFX and how I have always longed to be a part of something and I have finally found my place in this world of fitness. Living 26 years on the other side of the playground from the athletes was a hard pill to swallow, and I experienced a lot of emotional pain because of it. I'm finding my own spot on that team of athletes and I love every minute of it.
You have to start somewhere, I did. I started 55lbs heavier, unable to do modified ANYTHING. I now have several days a month where I actually lift the same weight as the rest of the crowd (known as RX or prescribed weight). You can do this, but you have to be willing to ask for the help you need. For those who are already starting your journey, I am SO very proud of you!!! You've taken the first step to changing your life and you will thank yourself for it when it is over!
I promise to get some recipes up here, it's been hard to find extra time.
When my alarm went off this morning I could tell my body needed more rest, so I took the morning off at CFX. I missed it terribly, but I think I really did need the extra sleep. Tonight I will go do some working out on my own which will be good. It's freezing outside, so my plan to go running is a bust. I refuse to let convenience be an excuse anymore, as it used to rule my entire life. If it was too hard or too inconvenient, I hid away from it and didn't even try. CrossFit has helped me change that mentality to realize that I can find a way to do something, anything, and I can make it be as hard as I want it to be. Workouts can be modified, they can be simple or complex....but they count. Every wallball, every squat, every pull-up, every sit-up, every run, every movement you make your body do will count towards something. If anything, it will prevent it from going backwards in the direction you have always gone. Don't let excuses rule your world anymore.
One of my biggest "excuses" is mommy guilt. I am a full-time working mother who only gets to see her little girl about 1.5 hours each weekday. That's it. It tears me up inside if I let it get to me, I love her more than she will ever know but right now this is the life we have to live. I take advantage of every minute I see her and try to let her know she is my everything whenever I can. But there are some days when I feel so guilty for training at night instead of seeing her. Tuesdays and Thursdays are when I workout both in the morning and evening. I don't get to spend any time with her on these days, but Jon does a fantastic job of taking care of her. She knows I am at the gym (getting "stinky" as she calls it) and she knows I will be back in the morning. I can always count on her huge smile and big hug in the morning after she wakes up. The guilt I have is not from her or from my husband...it is from me. I am preventing myself from giving it my all sometimes.
For those moms out there who are worried about taking time away from your family to change your life - STOP. If you never changed a single thing about your lifestyle right now, how long do you think you would live? How much medication would you have to take the rest of your life if you got diabetes from a sedentary lifestyle? How much would it cost your family to put you in a nursing home when you are old and not mobile enough to take care of yourself? How much would those doctors bills cost each year when your immune system is shot because all you feed your body is junk? What will you miss out on in your children's lives when you die at a young age because you didn't take care of yourself the way you should have? The cost of living a convenient and sedentary lifestyle is so much more expensive than the sacrifice you make for a few short years to correct the problems in your life. The hard work is not forever....there will be a day when I am finally in maintenance mode and do not have to work myself to the bone in order to keep pushing towards these goals. (The problem with that is I am now a self-proclaimed CrossFit junkie and LOVE it, so I probably will still go 6 times a week anyway! but you get the point). Just like when I was working full-time and going to school full-time....there was an end in sight and that is what kept me going. Starting was only half the battle. Take some time to really analyze yourself and what quality of life your are missing out on because you are too afraid, or too unwilling to change. If you need help to make those changes, ASK! My husband continues to amaze me every single day at how supportive he is, and how he is always willing to let me take that extra class, go for a run, etc. if it means it is helping me get better. Why? Because I am a better mother, wife, and person for it. He sees the joy I experience from being a part of the team at CFX and how I have always longed to be a part of something and I have finally found my place in this world of fitness. Living 26 years on the other side of the playground from the athletes was a hard pill to swallow, and I experienced a lot of emotional pain because of it. I'm finding my own spot on that team of athletes and I love every minute of it.
You have to start somewhere, I did. I started 55lbs heavier, unable to do modified ANYTHING. I now have several days a month where I actually lift the same weight as the rest of the crowd (known as RX or prescribed weight). You can do this, but you have to be willing to ask for the help you need. For those who are already starting your journey, I am SO very proud of you!!! You've taken the first step to changing your life and you will thank yourself for it when it is over!
I promise to get some recipes up here, it's been hard to find extra time.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Day 1 under way
Happy Monday! Today is Day 1 of the CFX Paleo Challenge and so far Jon and I are off to a good start! The WOD today at CFX was short and sweet, and I especially enjoyed the strength portion because I got a new 3 rep max (RM) on my back squat [115lbs]. The WOD involved rowing and [55lb] squat cleans. I'm not very good at the transition during squat cleans (first you clean it up, then do a front squat) but it's always good to know what you need to work on.
Yesterday was a cooking extravaganza in the Hanson house. God bless my wonderful husband for cleaning up after my mess each time I started a new dish. My goal was to have 6 things cooked, I made it to 5 and then stopped. The Chicken Enchiladas tasted great, but my coconut tortillas need a bit of work :) they looked more like pancakes. For my first time making them, it could have been much worse so I am okay with my pancake tortillas for now. I do plan on sharing some recipes soon, I just need to be sure it's okay to post them here as long as I give credit to the author. I'm unsure what the "netiquette" is on that whole thing.
I was weighed in, measured, and the dreaded photo in a sports bra and shorts was taken. As awkward as that moment is, I do it because I want to see what it will be like after the 45 days is over. I will be thankful I bared all and I will be proud of what I see. I hope that through this I can encourage people to start their own journey in whatever way they can. God designed our bodies to be strong and capable, but until you learn how to control it then you are not doing justice to God's gift. Gaining control is one of the hardest things I have ever tried to do, and I am still trying. Continue to give yourself permission to "try again" each day....pushing yourself harder than you did the day before. If you fall, get right back up and try again. There will come a day that you gain the control you need to change your life, but until then keep trying and find people who are there to support you on this journey.
I'm very very very proud of Jon for giving this a try. This is a huge transition for him because he really loves dairy, as well as breads. I hope you will all pray with us as we go on this journey together so that we can both see the benefits of Paleo for 45 whole days. 1 day down...44 to go!
A cute tid-bit from miss Kaylee this morning: She is convinced she needs to take her Dora lunch box to preschool now and insists she carry it out of the house each morning. She is growing up so fast, I wish I could freeze time so that I don't miss any opportunity to show her how much I love her.
Yesterday was a cooking extravaganza in the Hanson house. God bless my wonderful husband for cleaning up after my mess each time I started a new dish. My goal was to have 6 things cooked, I made it to 5 and then stopped. The Chicken Enchiladas tasted great, but my coconut tortillas need a bit of work :) they looked more like pancakes. For my first time making them, it could have been much worse so I am okay with my pancake tortillas for now. I do plan on sharing some recipes soon, I just need to be sure it's okay to post them here as long as I give credit to the author. I'm unsure what the "netiquette" is on that whole thing.
I was weighed in, measured, and the dreaded photo in a sports bra and shorts was taken. As awkward as that moment is, I do it because I want to see what it will be like after the 45 days is over. I will be thankful I bared all and I will be proud of what I see. I hope that through this I can encourage people to start their own journey in whatever way they can. God designed our bodies to be strong and capable, but until you learn how to control it then you are not doing justice to God's gift. Gaining control is one of the hardest things I have ever tried to do, and I am still trying. Continue to give yourself permission to "try again" each day....pushing yourself harder than you did the day before. If you fall, get right back up and try again. There will come a day that you gain the control you need to change your life, but until then keep trying and find people who are there to support you on this journey.
I'm very very very proud of Jon for giving this a try. This is a huge transition for him because he really loves dairy, as well as breads. I hope you will all pray with us as we go on this journey together so that we can both see the benefits of Paleo for 45 whole days. 1 day down...44 to go!
A cute tid-bit from miss Kaylee this morning: She is convinced she needs to take her Dora lunch box to preschool now and insists she carry it out of the house each morning. She is growing up so fast, I wish I could freeze time so that I don't miss any opportunity to show her how much I love her.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
1 Day until Paleo Challenge!!
CFX is holding a 45-day Paleo Challenge that begins Monday. Jon has decided he will join me for this challenge and go Paleo for the entire 45 days!! I am beyond excited right now, because last time it was super hard doing it by myself. For those of you who do not know what I am talking about, Paleo is a lifestyle of eating. Some people call it the "Caveman Diet"; however it is a lifestyle change instead of what you think a diet would be. Our food will consist of fruits, vegetables, meats (including seafood), nuts/seeds, and healthy fats. It will NOT consist of sugars, processed foods, grains, dairy (but we can have eggs), and anything else you can think of that is processed. The prospect of switching over to this healthy lifestyle is very intimidating for many people because they don't know where to even start. So....as we go along I will be posting weekly menus and information about where my recipes come from so that you may try them on your own! There are tremendous health benefits to going Paleo, and I'm so proud of my husband for giving this a go. I promised him there would be plenty of food around for him to munch on as long as he stuck to it :).
I will be spending most of tomorrow cooking several meals that we can freeze for the week, as well as snacks and breakfast items. Here is what our weekly menu will consist of, and every bit of it is Paleo!:
Sunday
- Breakfast: Egg Muffins, apple slices
- Lunch: Tuna salad wraps
- Dinner: Chicken Enchiladas
Monday
- Breakfast: Egg Muffins, fruit
- Lunch: Leftover chicken enchiladas
- Dinner: Hamburger patties and mashed cauliflower
Tuesday
- Breakfast: Smoothies, hard boiled eggs
- Lunch: Leftover hamburger patties and mashed cauliflower
- Dinner: Tacos
Wednesday
- Breakfast: Smoothies, hard boiled eggs
- Lunch: Leftover tacos
- Dinner: Turkeyloaf, roasted broccoli
Thursday
- Breakfast: Egg Muffins, fruit
- Lunch: Leftover turkeyloaf, kale chips
- Dinner: Grilled Chicken, roasted broccoli or other veggie
Friday
- Breakfast: Morning Glory Muffins
- Lunch: Leftover grilled chicken, or tuna salad
- Dinner: Salmon and steamed veggies
Saturday
- Breakfast: Smoothies, hard boiled eggs
- Lunch: Hamburger patties, kale chips
- Dinner: Shrimp Skillet
As you can see, these are mostly common items that you would make all the time, right? Well....kinda. Items that would normally consist of a tortilla will now be homemade coconut tortillas. There will be no cheese on the tacos, instead they will be dressed up with salsa and sauteed veggies that will make the taste phenomenal. Smoothies will have coconut milk and frozen fruit, no sugar or "fluff". Our bodies are going to learn what it is like to eat CLEAN, and we're pretty excited! Now you are probably wondering what little miss Kaylee will be eating. Um....that is yet to be determined. This little 3-year old is quite a picky eater and I'm trying to fix it but it is a slow process. We will still have foods around she is used to but hopefully she will begin to try new things.
Enough about food, here's the WOD from today, enjoy!
200m barbell carry (55lbs)
25 thrusters (55lbs)
200m barbell carry (55lbs)
25 overhead squats (45lbs)
400m medball run (6lbs)
50 wallball (10lbs)
400m run
50 medball situps (10lbs)
50m waiter carry, 50m farmer carry (20lbs each hand)
40 ground to overhead (15lb each hand)
[took about 45-ish minutes]
I will be spending most of tomorrow cooking several meals that we can freeze for the week, as well as snacks and breakfast items. Here is what our weekly menu will consist of, and every bit of it is Paleo!:
Sunday
- Breakfast: Egg Muffins, apple slices
- Lunch: Tuna salad wraps
- Dinner: Chicken Enchiladas
Monday
- Breakfast: Egg Muffins, fruit
- Lunch: Leftover chicken enchiladas
- Dinner: Hamburger patties and mashed cauliflower
Tuesday
- Breakfast: Smoothies, hard boiled eggs
- Lunch: Leftover hamburger patties and mashed cauliflower
- Dinner: Tacos
Wednesday
- Breakfast: Smoothies, hard boiled eggs
- Lunch: Leftover tacos
- Dinner: Turkeyloaf, roasted broccoli
Thursday
- Breakfast: Egg Muffins, fruit
- Lunch: Leftover turkeyloaf, kale chips
- Dinner: Grilled Chicken, roasted broccoli or other veggie
Friday
- Breakfast: Morning Glory Muffins
- Lunch: Leftover grilled chicken, or tuna salad
- Dinner: Salmon and steamed veggies
Saturday
- Breakfast: Smoothies, hard boiled eggs
- Lunch: Hamburger patties, kale chips
- Dinner: Shrimp Skillet
As you can see, these are mostly common items that you would make all the time, right? Well....kinda. Items that would normally consist of a tortilla will now be homemade coconut tortillas. There will be no cheese on the tacos, instead they will be dressed up with salsa and sauteed veggies that will make the taste phenomenal. Smoothies will have coconut milk and frozen fruit, no sugar or "fluff". Our bodies are going to learn what it is like to eat CLEAN, and we're pretty excited! Now you are probably wondering what little miss Kaylee will be eating. Um....that is yet to be determined. This little 3-year old is quite a picky eater and I'm trying to fix it but it is a slow process. We will still have foods around she is used to but hopefully she will begin to try new things.
Enough about food, here's the WOD from today, enjoy!
200m barbell carry (55lbs)
25 thrusters (55lbs)
200m barbell carry (55lbs)
25 overhead squats (45lbs)
400m medball run (6lbs)
50 wallball (10lbs)
400m run
50 medball situps (10lbs)
50m waiter carry, 50m farmer carry (20lbs each hand)
40 ground to overhead (15lb each hand)
[took about 45-ish minutes]
Thursday, January 5, 2012
We're Back!!!
Well hello everyone! Considering that this blog has been dormant for over a year, I believe it is time for a do-over...or at least a fresh start. I have felt a huge need to re-evaluate several things in life lately and the first step is to lay it all out there for the world to see. I truly believe there are people out there in the same kind of situation(s) we are and can benefit from the possibility of change. I won't attempt to bring everyone up to date, but will start fresh from here.
CrossFit is a huge part of my life now, and I am proud to be a part of CrossfitX here in Bellingham. I've never been part of a group so encouraging, so challenging, and so genuine. For the first time in my life I feel like I "belong" somewhere. It has been a huge struggle to get over my personal issues with self image and confidence. While it is still a work in progress, I have come a long way. Thanks to my amazing coaches at CrossfitX and the CrossFit community in general, I have lost 55lbs in 1 year. I am halfway to my goal so far. Although many people around me see a huge difference, there are days when I still feel like the "old" Brianne and can't see past the fat suit, so to speak. I know that one day that will change, but for now it is still a daily struggle. I'm known simply as "Bri" at the CFX gym, which I think is fitting because I've never been called by my nickname except by close friends and family. I wanted to start over and I felt it was the best way. It's almost like "Brianne" is representative of the old me who struggled to love herself each day; and "Bri" is becoming the girl she has always wanted to become....while being scared out of her shoes in the meantime! :)
Every day except for Wednesday and sometimes Sunday, involve some type of CrossFit workout. Saturdays are especially fun because the workouts last at least 2x as long and I get the workout with people who are not normally in my 5:30am class. <---- That's right people, 5:30am...sometimes it wears on me but that's the only time I have right now. There's 2 nights a week where I will either have another workout or go for a run; however, it's not much fun running in the cold right now so that has been put on hold for a bit.
On January 9th, we will start a new Paleo challenge at CrossfitX (CFX) and I am psyched!!! After the holidays, I am ready to start fresh and get my body back into game mode. Once I experienced my first Paleo challenge last year, my body has never been the same as it was prior to Crossfit. It rejects a lot of "junk" that I used to eat and I instantly feel like crap when eating things that are horrible for me. Yes, that means I still do on occasion, but it never fails that I completely regret it. I plan on using Sunday for cooking and I hope it is not too difficult. Mom got me a new cookbook: "Paleo Comfort Foods" for Christmas, which I will be using a lot for my meals. I will post recipes and pictures here when possible so you can all try your hand at it.
I'm still hoping and praying that the day will come when I am healthy enough to try out for the police department when they open recruitment. Right now I am close to reaching that goal, but it is still too far to grab a hold of. There are many days that I wake up thinking "why keep trying? It is too far away, you will never reach that goal" but I can't allow myself to quit now. I've come too far and my family has sacrificed way too much for me to give up. I know God has a place for me in law enforcement, and I devoted 4 years of my life to achieving the best education I could get for it too. I just have to let go of the misconceptions I have and take advantage of every day He gives to me. I am thankful for every single day I have with my family, and I long for the day that I can help make their lives even more enjoyable and secure.
As we go along, I will give updates on workouts (which are called WODs "Workout of the Day"), recipes, struggles, achievements, and opportunities. It's time to keep pushing past the ruts that come up and over the plateaus that show their ugly little heads. One of my favorite quotes [which of course I don't know word-for-word] say something about "Be the kind of woman who, when she wakes up in the morning, Satan says 'Oh crap, she's up!". It's GO TIME!!!
CrossFit is a huge part of my life now, and I am proud to be a part of CrossfitX here in Bellingham. I've never been part of a group so encouraging, so challenging, and so genuine. For the first time in my life I feel like I "belong" somewhere. It has been a huge struggle to get over my personal issues with self image and confidence. While it is still a work in progress, I have come a long way. Thanks to my amazing coaches at CrossfitX and the CrossFit community in general, I have lost 55lbs in 1 year. I am halfway to my goal so far. Although many people around me see a huge difference, there are days when I still feel like the "old" Brianne and can't see past the fat suit, so to speak. I know that one day that will change, but for now it is still a daily struggle. I'm known simply as "Bri" at the CFX gym, which I think is fitting because I've never been called by my nickname except by close friends and family. I wanted to start over and I felt it was the best way. It's almost like "Brianne" is representative of the old me who struggled to love herself each day; and "Bri" is becoming the girl she has always wanted to become....while being scared out of her shoes in the meantime! :)
Every day except for Wednesday and sometimes Sunday, involve some type of CrossFit workout. Saturdays are especially fun because the workouts last at least 2x as long and I get the workout with people who are not normally in my 5:30am class. <---- That's right people, 5:30am...sometimes it wears on me but that's the only time I have right now. There's 2 nights a week where I will either have another workout or go for a run; however, it's not much fun running in the cold right now so that has been put on hold for a bit.
On January 9th, we will start a new Paleo challenge at CrossfitX (CFX) and I am psyched!!! After the holidays, I am ready to start fresh and get my body back into game mode. Once I experienced my first Paleo challenge last year, my body has never been the same as it was prior to Crossfit. It rejects a lot of "junk" that I used to eat and I instantly feel like crap when eating things that are horrible for me. Yes, that means I still do on occasion, but it never fails that I completely regret it. I plan on using Sunday for cooking and I hope it is not too difficult. Mom got me a new cookbook: "Paleo Comfort Foods" for Christmas, which I will be using a lot for my meals. I will post recipes and pictures here when possible so you can all try your hand at it.
I'm still hoping and praying that the day will come when I am healthy enough to try out for the police department when they open recruitment. Right now I am close to reaching that goal, but it is still too far to grab a hold of. There are many days that I wake up thinking "why keep trying? It is too far away, you will never reach that goal" but I can't allow myself to quit now. I've come too far and my family has sacrificed way too much for me to give up. I know God has a place for me in law enforcement, and I devoted 4 years of my life to achieving the best education I could get for it too. I just have to let go of the misconceptions I have and take advantage of every day He gives to me. I am thankful for every single day I have with my family, and I long for the day that I can help make their lives even more enjoyable and secure.
As we go along, I will give updates on workouts (which are called WODs "Workout of the Day"), recipes, struggles, achievements, and opportunities. It's time to keep pushing past the ruts that come up and over the plateaus that show their ugly little heads. One of my favorite quotes [which of course I don't know word-for-word] say something about "Be the kind of woman who, when she wakes up in the morning, Satan says 'Oh crap, she's up!". It's GO TIME!!!
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