The Test...it's finally here

I have hesitated to write again until this week is over. Part of me is afraid of "jinxing" it, and part of me is afraid of everyone seeing me fail if I don't meet the standards.  Friday is a big day this week, a day that I have looked forward to for many months.  At 12:00pm I will be taking the Physical Agility Test for the Bellingham Police Department.  There will be 4 tests (1.5mi run, 300m sprint, sit-ups, push-ups) and I will be interviewed while I am tested.  This day used to seem so far away, and part of me wishes time would stand still so I could wait a little longer.  However, my heart tells me that I am ready to give this the best attempt at anything I ever have before.  I've trained hard, and I am going into this with no regrets this time.  If I am not ready, then I need to be okay with that.  Not everyone can pass this test. In order to be able to get through the Academy, you've got to be up to the physical standards of their training. 

I wish more than anything that my time has finally come and I pass with flying colors.  As much as I have put it out there, sometimes I wonder if I should have just kept quiet.  It's easier to not put yourself out there and fail, then no one knows about it and you can be the only one who is disappointed in yourself, right?  I used to think so.  Now I know better.  Never sharing your dreams is a lonely way to live because you do not have anyone to celebrate it with when you finally see those dreams come true.  You also lose the abilty to help others through their struggles if you fail to share your own.  Coming to the realization that I was in the worst shape of my life when I graduated college was painful.  I had just spent the last 4 years working full-time, going to school full-time, getting married, and having a baby with several complications.  I got through it, but little did I know that I had yet to face the hardest part.  It's been a long 13 months, but I wouldn't trade the lessons I have learned for anything.  You have to want something bad enough in order to turn your life around.  If it is worth having, it is worth giving up comfort for.  I think that we should all embrace our biggest life dream and share it with those who are in our lives.  You find out who your true friends are, and you find out who is dragging you down. 

Friday will be a big day, and I'm trying to keep my nerves calm until then as much as possible.  I have noticed that I tend to psyche myself out when I want to achieve something physically lately.  It's been a weird cycle lately that I'm trying to break through.  My hope and prayer for Friday is that I just let go and enjoy the process.  It's clear that if I'm not ready by now then I won't be ready by Friday, so I need to just go in there and give it everything I've got.  I hope they can at least learn how much I want to be a part of this amazing department and how much work has gone into getting this far.

As scary as it is to put it out there, I'm okay with what happens.  I have to be, because there is nothing to be ashamed of.  My CrossFit family has helped me realize that you should always be proud of yourself for trying something hard, even when it doesn't go as planned.  No matter what happens, you are farther along than you were yesterday and the wall you are trying to break through is now one brick shorter.

What is your "18 inches"?

There are times in our lives when we make a commitment to change something about ourselves because we have simply had enough. We are tired of living the same way day in and day out, without ever reaching the potential that God has in store for us.  That change may be physical, emotional, mental, relational, or a combination of several.  Whatever the reason, you decided that you were finally worth the effort.  Days go by, weeks go by, and then for the first time in your life...months go by.  It's the first time you haven't quit on yourself. You gain a new sense of self-confidence as each day passes without you falling off the bandwagon.  Your former self would have quit a long time ago, because you keep telling yourself "you always eventually quit, so you might as well give up now".  Your former self would take the easy way out, yet endure the pain of letting yourself down again.

Never stop trying again. Never. This has now become your new motto, and it keeps you going when things seem tough.  It keeps you going when you slip up and have something not on your new lifestyle menu, or you choose sleep over that 5:30am workout.  Just when you feel that you're on the upswing of this new journey, you are reminded once again that there are things you still can't do.  There's still something that you really wish you could do, but you haven't conquered that yet.  For many of you, that might be running your first mile, or doing your first perfect-form push-up.  For others of you, it might be loosing 50lbs and being able to hold your bodyweight over your head.  For me, it was an 18" metal box that has taunted me ever since I was able to complete 12" box jumps without much effort. 

18 inches...I am 3.3 times taller than 18 inches, yet it still seemed so tall. Every Saturday when the big CFX workout happens and the crew comes out in full force, it was becoming harder and harder to not be self conscious about still having to use the 12 inch box.  It's probably the only thing I've been self conscious about while at our box.  For some reason I swear it would taunt me just saying "this is one thing you CAN'T do, you just can't jump this high".  So, I would listen to the stupid piece of metal and only jump 12" each time, while feeling like I could do twice as many as required and still not be winded yet.  I allowed myself to give in to the intimidation.

Last week, that 18" piece of metal finally lost.  Skill work for the morning was snatches and tall box jumps.  I knew this was finally my time to get over my fear of not jumping high enough.  Yes, I'm short....but dang-it, if girls like Carly (one of the sweetest and strongest CFX girls I know, and just as short as me) can jump on 24" boxes then surely I can manage 18"!  Right?  Right?  Well, I wasn't sure, so I leaned on my coach for guidance and finally conquered something that was trying to get the best of me.  I first used 2 PVC pipes [which we use for stretching] to propel me up onto the box.  Then I did running leaps towards the box.  Then I finally made it, freaking myself out so much that I quickly jumped down :).  I had to do it again just to make sure it was not a fluke, and sure enough, I can now do 18" box jumps with a smile.  Another step forward was moving from a green band on the pull-up bars to blue.  When I started CrossFit I couldn't even do black-banded pull-ups.  I had absolutely NO strength.  To know that I am only 2 bands away from having an unassisted pull-up is crazy.

The only reason I was finally able to get that 18" box jump is because I refused to let intimidation win, and I leaned on those who I knew believed in myself more than I did at the time.  My coach told me he knew I could do it.  Even though I am sure he tells that to everyone, I knew in my heart that he really DID believe I could do it.  That's when I had to just do what he told me.  When things feel hard and it doesn't seem like you can do it......just do what they say.  Tell the negative voices in your head to shut up, and listen to the words of someone who is trying to help you change your life.  You are worth so much more than the intimidation brought on by your own "18 inches", whatever that may be.  If you want it bad enough, you will find a way to get past those 18 inches.  It hurts, and it's scary, but the changes you can make in your life will rock your world! 

I know I say it over and over again, but I am so glad I found CrossfitX and the rest of the CrossFit community.  They truly want to see you reach your full potential, no matter what level you are at. Whatever that source of encouragement is for you, find it and never let go.  The pain of discipline hurts....but it NEVER hurts more than the pain of regret.  Give the gift of chance to yourself.  Your journey is waiting for you.

Checking in: Day 21 of 45

Some days it seems like 21 days went quickly, while other days we think "are we DONE yet??".  The Paleo Challenge has been a huge change of pace in the Hanson home, but one we are still glad that we decided to participate.  I have seen huge changes in Jon, especially in the way his clothes fit.  Just a month ago, he got a pair of jeans out that were too tight to wear.  Now they are baggy on him.  He's doing great!  I've felt more changes than I have "seen".  My performance at CrossfitX has seen tremendous improvements since going strict Paleo.  I have more stamina than I used to, and I am ready to go for extra rounds at the end of the workout when I usually would be laying on the floor after a WOD. 

Tuesday night was the moment when I realized just how important nutrition is to my body.  You can have a trainer, or anyone for that matter, tell you over and over how much performance improvement you will see when you put your nutrition in check....but until you FEEL it yourself I don't think the light bulb will come on.  I finally felt that this week.  Tuesdays and Thursdays I workout at CFX in the morning, and then do my own workout (mostly cardio) at night.  We have a small room at the apartment office that has a few machines, including a treadmill.  For those of you who know me, or have known me since I started at CFX 13 months ago, I am *not* a runner.  If you asked me which part of the law enforcement PAT is most intimidating, I will have to say the run/sprint.  In order to achieve the minimum-passing score on the 1.5mi run, I have to complete it in under 14:32.  I have a wonderful friend, Susie, who helped me get over the mental aspect of running the 1.5mi without stopping.  But my time was always around 15 or 16 minutes and I felt like I was going to pass out when it was over.  Tuesday night was a turning point for me.  I told myself that I was not going to stop, and kept hearing my trainer, Travis, telling me "you can do anything for 1 minute" and just kept repeating that as each minute passed.  I set the speed to 8.0 and just ran, faster than I have ever ran before, and I didn't stop.  I completed that 1.5mi in 11:15!  Of course, this was on a treadmill so once I got the rhythm down it was just a matter of not stopping.  I am anxious to try the track again when it's not raining.  I only wish I had my phone with me to take a picture, because that meant so much.  I still view myself as the "fat girl" many days.  It's like the syndrome that size 0 models have who think they are fat.  I believe I will fight that image the rest of my life, but feeling the difference that Crossfit and Paleo has made is what I needed to keep pushing. 

WWU opened a position for campus police this last week, and yes, the application is already submitted :).  City of Bellingham also opened the applications for entry level officer, for which I will submit the application this week.  Things are moving fast, and only God knows what will happen.  But I know that if I continue to come to class, and I continue to take the advice (and implement it!) that my trainers give me, I will one day realize the dream I have for me and our family. I'm nervous as can be, but so tremendously thankful to everyone at CFX, they truly are family to me.
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I don't have a menu plan this week, as I am simplifying things for the next 7 days.  Our meals will be pretty simple, and perhaps a little boring, but I'm going to start trying to figure out Zone while still eating Paleo.  It's intimidating, but I think I can do it.  I've got lots to research and plan if I am going to take it on, but apparently it should kick-start things even quicker.

I'm not sure who all even reads our blog anymore, but I am hoping that somewhere out there, someone will take a chance on themselves because they deserve it.  Have a good week!

Ham & Egg Cups

These have become a weekly staple in our house because they are so easy, and so tasty! 

Ham & Egg Cups
- 1/2C mushrooms, finely chopped
- 1/2C shallots, finely chopped
- 12 large eggs
- 12 ham slices

1. Preheat oven to 350
2. Saute shallots and mushrooms in skillet
3. Coat muffin pan with olive oil (I use coconut oil). Place ham slices in the muffin pan cups. You may want to cut a sliver in the ham slice to allow it to fold over itself when placed in the muffin pan.
4. Spoon the shallots and mushroom mixture into each ham cup.
5. Crack an individual egg into each ham cup.
6. Cook for 15 minutes or until the ham edges are crisp.

We have eaten on these for up to 4 days and they still taste great.  If you eat them right out of the oven, it has the texture of a poached egg.  Once they are refrigerated, and you reheat them in the microwave though, the egg becomes more cooked. I've also made them with bell pepper and onions in them and always put black pepper on the top for taste.  This isn't the best picture, but this is how I had one the other day for a mid-day snack:

Day 12, more recipes!

What a busy week this has been!  I don't quite have my new weekly menu up yet, but we have tried many new dishes this week that were a success. I will share some more recipes below.  Tonight we had dinner at my in-laws house and we brought our own food to eat, dessert included.  I was very proud of us both for making good choices because, trust me, it would have been SO much easier to let someone else cook for me and eat the blackberry pie that they had for dessert.  Walking away from dinner tonight knowing that I just filled up on healthy food and didn't touch anything bad was a great feeling.  Not to mention I was stuffed!  I have made quite a few things the last 24 hours: a dozen ham & egg cups, a turkey loaf, a sweet potato casserole, kale chips, sweet potato spears, hamburger patties, and sauteed apples.  Here's a few recipes...as requested!

All the recipes I have been using are from Paleo Comfort Foods, which you need to go out and buy, NOW!  It's fantastic, so easy to use, and my favorite part is that there is a picture of every recipe, so you know what it is supposed to look like!

Sweet Potato Casserole:

- 2 lbs sweet potatoes

- 1/4 C coconut milk

- 2 large eggs, beaten

- 1tsp vanilla

- 1tbsp coconut oil or grass-fed butter

- 2tsp cinnamon

- 1tsp nutmeg

- 1tsp lemon zest [left this out, didn't have any lemons]

- salt and pepper to taste [left this out too]

- 1/2C chopped pecans

*Extra ingredient I added - 1/3C shredded unsweetened coconut

1. Peel sweet potatoes and cut into equal cubes. Place in pot, cover with water, boil until soft (about 10min)

2. Preheat oven to 350

3. Drain potatoes and return to pot. Using hand mixer, mix in coconut milk

4. Add eggs, vanilla, oil, cinnamon, nutmeg and lemon zest

5. Place mixture into a 9x9" dish [I use an 8x8 and it's perfect]

6. Sprinkle chopped pecans [and coconut] on to

7. Bake for 30 minutes until golden brown on top

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Sauteed Apples

- 3 apples, cored and sliced (used Pink Lady apples)

- 1tbsp grass-fed butter

- 2tsp cinnamon

- 1/2C chopped pecans

1. Bring frying pan to medium-high heat

2. Toast pecans for 3-4 minutes and then add butter

3. Add the apples and cinnamon

4. Saute for 5-7 minutes

I swear this tasted like apple pie without the filling, it was wonderful!  I have also created a version of this from Easy Paleo's website that involves using coconut milk in the mixture.  It tastes about the same, but I think I like this recipe a bit more because of the nuts.  You could substitute nuts for raisins if you would like.

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Sweet Potato Spears (substitute for french fries, feed THESE to your kids instead!)
- 4 medium-sized sweet potatoes, cut into spears
- 1/4C extra virgin olive oil
- 2tsp cumin
- 1/2tsp salt
- 1/2tsp pepper

1. Preheat oven to 400, cover 2 cookie sheets with foil
2. Toss sweet potatoes with olive oil, cumin, salt and pepper
3. Place on baking sheets, do not crowd the pieces
4. Cook for 30-40 minutes, turning twice
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We had all 3 of these today and they were fantastic.  For lunch we had hamburger patties, sweet potato spears and turkey bacon.  I finally was able to make the turkey bacon crispy, so I was excited!!  The sweet potato casserole will feed us for about 3 days.  It is so sweet it almost tastes like dessert, so it's really enjoyable on lunch breaks at work when I usually would cave and eat some candy or drink a Diet Coke.  Sweet potatoes have helped me kick a lot of cravings actually.  I think Jon gets tired of them though, so I try to find other things to use as a substitute.  If you're interested, here's some workouts this week...it was a great week at CFX!

** WORKOUTS **

Monday
- Strength work:  find a new 3 rep max on back squat...120lbs!
- WOD: 4 minute row for calories (51), rest 4 minutes
              4 minute AMRAP: 10 box jumps, 10 pull-ups (3 rounds + 10 box jumps)
              4 minute rest
              4 minute AMRAP: 90 jump ropes, 10 knees to chest on pull-up bar (2 rounds + 5 K2C)

Tuesday
- Strength work: find new 3 rep max on press....only got to 75lbs
- WOD:  5 sets of 2 minute rounds. Within 2 minutes: row 250m and push press (75lbs) the remainder of the time. I ended up doing 53 push presses total
- Tuesday night: ran 2 miles

Wednesday
- This is my off day

Thursday
- Strength work: find new 3RM on deadlift....135lbs!
- WOD: 3 rounds for time: 500m row
                                           15 push-ups
                                           25 kettlebell swings (35lbs)
                                           [12:29]

Friday
- Strength work: find new 3RM on front squat...105lbs!

- WOD: 10min. AMRAP: 5 burpee pull-ups

                                          10 KB swings (35lbs)

                                          20 dumbell walking lunges

                                          [4 rounds + 5 KB swings]

Saturday

- WOD: 4x10m burpee broad jumps

              7 rounds: 5 KB Press (26lbs)

                              10 KB front squat (35lbs)

                              15 KB swings (35lbs)

               4x10m burpee broad jumps

               [21:09]

Week 2: Menu Plan

Week 2 is upon us and here's what we have going for the menu.  I won't list the lunch items because it will always be leftovers from dinner the night before.  That has been working out well, and I'm getting used to cooking in larger quantities to make that happen:

Sunday
B: Egg & Ham cups
D: Steak & Kale chips

Monday
B: Egg muffins
D: Grilled Chicken; Sauteed green beans

Tuesday
B: Hard boiled eggs & fruit
D: Taco Salads

Wednesday
B: Egg muffins
D: Tilapia and Broccoli
- Will cook Polska Kilbasa sausage and Kale chips for lunch tomorrow also

Thursday
B: Sausage & eggs
D: Chili

Friday
B: Morning Glory muffins & hard boiled eggs
D: Shrimp Skillet

We were very pleasantly surprised when we went grocery shopping this weekend and did not spend any more than we usually would have when buying "junk".  I am searching the ads each week to make sure we get the good deals on items we eat a lot of (apples, ground turkey, chicken, kale) and that seems to be helping. Used to I would think it was a waste of time to shop at several different stores for what I need, but I have found a great deal of savings in doing that. If I plan well then it works out fine. We usually have to make a mid-week grocery run for tomatoes since those don't seem to keep very long in our apartment. 

We are a week into the challenge and so far, Jon is down 6lbs and I am down 4lbs....I'll take it!  But more important than the weight loss is that our energy levels are more stable, my lovely female hormone levels are stable (woohoo!) and we are enjoying doing this together as a couple.  The only problem I have been having is a headache that will not go away, but I have realized it is probably my eyes adjusting.  I had LASIK 4 months ago and they still change from time to time from clear to a bit blurry.  This week has been very blurry, so I am 99% sure that is the cause of the headache.

Well, we are excited for a new week and are ready to try some new recipes out!  If you see a specific item that you would like the recipe for, let me know.  Otherwise we will probably post our favorites again at the end of the week.

Day 1-5 Recipes!

Ask and you shall receive!  Here are a few of the recipes I used this week.  All of them are from "Paleo Comfort Foods" by Julie & Charles Mayfield.  I have never seen a cookbook so pretty :) and I absolutely loved everything we had this week.  Thank you to Julie & Charles for helping us make this Paleo Challenge a success so far!

Turkey Loafing (a spin on meatloaf)
2 medium sweet onions, chopped
1 red bell pepper, chopped
1 tsp kosher salt (we use sea salt)
1 tsp black pepper
1 tsp thyme
1 tsp garlic powder
2 tbsp coconut oil
1 tbsp tomato paste
1/2 c chicken stock
1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
2 large eggs
4lbs ground turkey
1 c Cave Ketchup (this is Paleo ketchup, but you can use regular ketchup if you are not doing Paleo. However, I highly recommend it so you are not eating the sugar that is in normal ketchup)

1. Preheat oven to 325
2. Saute onions, red pepper, and all spices with coconut oil over medium heat until onions become translucent. Remove from heat, stir in tomato paste, stock and Worcestershire sauce.
3. In large bowl, crack eggs over your turkey and fold in the onion mix once it is cooled.
4. Place in casserole dish, no greasing required
5. Pour your Cave Ketchup over the top and bake for 90min. You want the internal temp at 160 degrees to know that it is cooked all the way through.

This recipe made a HUGE casserole dish of turkey loaf.  We ate on it for 2 days, it was FABULOUS!
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Mashed Cauliflower (instead of mashed potatoes)
1 head fresh cauliflower
1 c chicken stock
1/4 tsp pepper
2 cloves garlic, crushed

1. Cut your cauliflower head into small chunks of the florets and stems.
2. Place all ingredients in a medium saucepan and bring to a boil.
3. Reduce heat to medium, cover, and allow to cook for 20 minutes. You may need to add more stock if it dries up too quickly.
4. Pour cauliflower and all ingredients into the bowl of a food processor, or keep in pan and use a hand mixer or hand masher. Mix/mash until you reach the desired consistency.

I found that this recipe was wonderful, but I utilized the additional tips they gave of using chives and/or crumbled up bacon bits for additional flavor.  This is a good alternative to mashed potatoes, and an easy way to get your family used to the taste of cauliflower.
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Morning Glory Muffins
2 1/2 c almond flour (I make my own with raw almonds in the Bullet, saves money)
1 tbsp cinnamon
2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
2 cups carrots grated
1 large apple, peeled, cored and grated
1 c shredded coconut
1 c raisins
3 large eggs
2 tbsp honey (optional, and we did not use it)
1/2 c coconut or avocado oil
1tsp vanilla

1. Preheat oven to 350
2. Combine almond flour, cinnamon, baking soda, and salt into large bowl. Add carrot, apple, coconut and raisins. Combine well.
3. In separate bowl, whisk eggs, [honey], oil and vanilla together.
4. Pour this mixture over dry ingredients and mix well. The batter will be very thick.
5. Spoon into standard muffin cups.
6. Bake for 30 minutes (we baked them for almost 40).

This was my favorite thing of the week aside from the turkey loaf.  I felt like I was cheating they were so yummy!  Kaylee even enjoyed it, which made me smile :)
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There were several other recipes we used this week but these were some of our favorites.  We will use a couple of the same ones next week, along with new ones.  Enjoy!