We have almost completed 4 days of the Paleo Challenge, and we're still going strong :). Jon continues to amaze me at his willingness to try these new foods, and his support he provides. I want to say how proud I am of him, and how much I pray each day that he continues on with the Challenge and sees it through. I think he will be very surprised at the results and how different his body feels. We both have seen our appetites reduce significantly, and we are able to experience the true "Full" feeling after eating very little. The quality of our food is so much better than it has ever been and it's wonderful! Tonight we are having Turkey Loaf from Paleo Comfort Foods. OMGosh...I actually had some this morning with eggs and it was AMAZING! Mom would be proud...I'm eating my meatloaf. I actually cooked it last night because it has to bake for 90 minutes. The house smelt wonderful for hours.
When my alarm went off this morning I could tell my body needed more rest, so I took the morning off at CFX. I missed it terribly, but I think I really did need the extra sleep. Tonight I will go do some working out on my own which will be good. It's freezing outside, so my plan to go running is a bust. I refuse to let convenience be an excuse anymore, as it used to rule my entire life. If it was too hard or too inconvenient, I hid away from it and didn't even try. CrossFit has helped me change that mentality to realize that I can find a way to do something, anything, and I can make it be as hard as I want it to be. Workouts can be modified, they can be simple or complex....but they count. Every wallball, every squat, every pull-up, every sit-up, every run, every movement you make your body do will count towards something. If anything, it will prevent it from going backwards in the direction you have always gone. Don't let excuses rule your world anymore.
One of my biggest "excuses" is mommy guilt. I am a full-time working mother who only gets to see her little girl about 1.5 hours each weekday. That's it. It tears me up inside if I let it get to me, I love her more than she will ever know but right now this is the life we have to live. I take advantage of every minute I see her and try to let her know she is my everything whenever I can. But there are some days when I feel so guilty for training at night instead of seeing her. Tuesdays and Thursdays are when I workout both in the morning and evening. I don't get to spend any time with her on these days, but Jon does a fantastic job of taking care of her. She knows I am at the gym (getting "stinky" as she calls it) and she knows I will be back in the morning. I can always count on her huge smile and big hug in the morning after she wakes up. The guilt I have is not from her or from my husband...it is from me. I am preventing myself from giving it my all sometimes.
For those moms out there who are worried about taking time away from your family to change your life - STOP. If you never changed a single thing about your lifestyle right now, how long do you think you would live? How much medication would you have to take the rest of your life if you got diabetes from a sedentary lifestyle? How much would it cost your family to put you in a nursing home when you are old and not mobile enough to take care of yourself? How much would those doctors bills cost each year when your immune system is shot because all you feed your body is junk? What will you miss out on in your children's lives when you die at a young age because you didn't take care of yourself the way you should have? The cost of living a convenient and sedentary lifestyle is so much more expensive than the sacrifice you make for a few short years to correct the problems in your life. The hard work is not forever....there will be a day when I am finally in maintenance mode and do not have to work myself to the bone in order to keep pushing towards these goals. (The problem with that is I am now a self-proclaimed CrossFit junkie and LOVE it, so I probably will still go 6 times a week anyway! but you get the point). Just like when I was working full-time and going to school full-time....there was an end in sight and that is what kept me going. Starting was only half the battle. Take some time to really analyze yourself and what quality of life your are missing out on because you are too afraid, or too unwilling to change. If you need help to make those changes, ASK! My husband continues to amaze me every single day at how supportive he is, and how he is always willing to let me take that extra class, go for a run, etc. if it means it is helping me get better. Why? Because I am a better mother, wife, and person for it. He sees the joy I experience from being a part of the team at CFX and how I have always longed to be a part of something and I have finally found my place in this world of fitness. Living 26 years on the other side of the playground from the athletes was a hard pill to swallow, and I experienced a lot of emotional pain because of it. I'm finding my own spot on that team of athletes and I love every minute of it.
You have to start somewhere, I did. I started 55lbs heavier, unable to do modified ANYTHING. I now have several days a month where I actually lift the same weight as the rest of the crowd (known as RX or prescribed weight). You can do this, but you have to be willing to ask for the help you need. For those who are already starting your journey, I am SO very proud of you!!! You've taken the first step to changing your life and you will thank yourself for it when it is over!
I promise to get some recipes up here, it's been hard to find extra time.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Monday, January 9, 2012
Day 1 under way
Happy Monday! Today is Day 1 of the CFX Paleo Challenge and so far Jon and I are off to a good start! The WOD today at CFX was short and sweet, and I especially enjoyed the strength portion because I got a new 3 rep max (RM) on my back squat [115lbs]. The WOD involved rowing and [55lb] squat cleans. I'm not very good at the transition during squat cleans (first you clean it up, then do a front squat) but it's always good to know what you need to work on.
Yesterday was a cooking extravaganza in the Hanson house. God bless my wonderful husband for cleaning up after my mess each time I started a new dish. My goal was to have 6 things cooked, I made it to 5 and then stopped. The Chicken Enchiladas tasted great, but my coconut tortillas need a bit of work :) they looked more like pancakes. For my first time making them, it could have been much worse so I am okay with my pancake tortillas for now. I do plan on sharing some recipes soon, I just need to be sure it's okay to post them here as long as I give credit to the author. I'm unsure what the "netiquette" is on that whole thing.
I was weighed in, measured, and the dreaded photo in a sports bra and shorts was taken. As awkward as that moment is, I do it because I want to see what it will be like after the 45 days is over. I will be thankful I bared all and I will be proud of what I see. I hope that through this I can encourage people to start their own journey in whatever way they can. God designed our bodies to be strong and capable, but until you learn how to control it then you are not doing justice to God's gift. Gaining control is one of the hardest things I have ever tried to do, and I am still trying. Continue to give yourself permission to "try again" each day....pushing yourself harder than you did the day before. If you fall, get right back up and try again. There will come a day that you gain the control you need to change your life, but until then keep trying and find people who are there to support you on this journey.
I'm very very very proud of Jon for giving this a try. This is a huge transition for him because he really loves dairy, as well as breads. I hope you will all pray with us as we go on this journey together so that we can both see the benefits of Paleo for 45 whole days. 1 day down...44 to go!
A cute tid-bit from miss Kaylee this morning: She is convinced she needs to take her Dora lunch box to preschool now and insists she carry it out of the house each morning. She is growing up so fast, I wish I could freeze time so that I don't miss any opportunity to show her how much I love her.
Yesterday was a cooking extravaganza in the Hanson house. God bless my wonderful husband for cleaning up after my mess each time I started a new dish. My goal was to have 6 things cooked, I made it to 5 and then stopped. The Chicken Enchiladas tasted great, but my coconut tortillas need a bit of work :) they looked more like pancakes. For my first time making them, it could have been much worse so I am okay with my pancake tortillas for now. I do plan on sharing some recipes soon, I just need to be sure it's okay to post them here as long as I give credit to the author. I'm unsure what the "netiquette" is on that whole thing.
I was weighed in, measured, and the dreaded photo in a sports bra and shorts was taken. As awkward as that moment is, I do it because I want to see what it will be like after the 45 days is over. I will be thankful I bared all and I will be proud of what I see. I hope that through this I can encourage people to start their own journey in whatever way they can. God designed our bodies to be strong and capable, but until you learn how to control it then you are not doing justice to God's gift. Gaining control is one of the hardest things I have ever tried to do, and I am still trying. Continue to give yourself permission to "try again" each day....pushing yourself harder than you did the day before. If you fall, get right back up and try again. There will come a day that you gain the control you need to change your life, but until then keep trying and find people who are there to support you on this journey.
I'm very very very proud of Jon for giving this a try. This is a huge transition for him because he really loves dairy, as well as breads. I hope you will all pray with us as we go on this journey together so that we can both see the benefits of Paleo for 45 whole days. 1 day down...44 to go!
A cute tid-bit from miss Kaylee this morning: She is convinced she needs to take her Dora lunch box to preschool now and insists she carry it out of the house each morning. She is growing up so fast, I wish I could freeze time so that I don't miss any opportunity to show her how much I love her.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
1 Day until Paleo Challenge!!
CFX is holding a 45-day Paleo Challenge that begins Monday. Jon has decided he will join me for this challenge and go Paleo for the entire 45 days!! I am beyond excited right now, because last time it was super hard doing it by myself. For those of you who do not know what I am talking about, Paleo is a lifestyle of eating. Some people call it the "Caveman Diet"; however it is a lifestyle change instead of what you think a diet would be. Our food will consist of fruits, vegetables, meats (including seafood), nuts/seeds, and healthy fats. It will NOT consist of sugars, processed foods, grains, dairy (but we can have eggs), and anything else you can think of that is processed. The prospect of switching over to this healthy lifestyle is very intimidating for many people because they don't know where to even start. So....as we go along I will be posting weekly menus and information about where my recipes come from so that you may try them on your own! There are tremendous health benefits to going Paleo, and I'm so proud of my husband for giving this a go. I promised him there would be plenty of food around for him to munch on as long as he stuck to it :).
I will be spending most of tomorrow cooking several meals that we can freeze for the week, as well as snacks and breakfast items. Here is what our weekly menu will consist of, and every bit of it is Paleo!:
Sunday
- Breakfast: Egg Muffins, apple slices
- Lunch: Tuna salad wraps
- Dinner: Chicken Enchiladas
Monday
- Breakfast: Egg Muffins, fruit
- Lunch: Leftover chicken enchiladas
- Dinner: Hamburger patties and mashed cauliflower
Tuesday
- Breakfast: Smoothies, hard boiled eggs
- Lunch: Leftover hamburger patties and mashed cauliflower
- Dinner: Tacos
Wednesday
- Breakfast: Smoothies, hard boiled eggs
- Lunch: Leftover tacos
- Dinner: Turkeyloaf, roasted broccoli
Thursday
- Breakfast: Egg Muffins, fruit
- Lunch: Leftover turkeyloaf, kale chips
- Dinner: Grilled Chicken, roasted broccoli or other veggie
Friday
- Breakfast: Morning Glory Muffins
- Lunch: Leftover grilled chicken, or tuna salad
- Dinner: Salmon and steamed veggies
Saturday
- Breakfast: Smoothies, hard boiled eggs
- Lunch: Hamburger patties, kale chips
- Dinner: Shrimp Skillet
As you can see, these are mostly common items that you would make all the time, right? Well....kinda. Items that would normally consist of a tortilla will now be homemade coconut tortillas. There will be no cheese on the tacos, instead they will be dressed up with salsa and sauteed veggies that will make the taste phenomenal. Smoothies will have coconut milk and frozen fruit, no sugar or "fluff". Our bodies are going to learn what it is like to eat CLEAN, and we're pretty excited! Now you are probably wondering what little miss Kaylee will be eating. Um....that is yet to be determined. This little 3-year old is quite a picky eater and I'm trying to fix it but it is a slow process. We will still have foods around she is used to but hopefully she will begin to try new things.
Enough about food, here's the WOD from today, enjoy!
200m barbell carry (55lbs)
25 thrusters (55lbs)
200m barbell carry (55lbs)
25 overhead squats (45lbs)
400m medball run (6lbs)
50 wallball (10lbs)
400m run
50 medball situps (10lbs)
50m waiter carry, 50m farmer carry (20lbs each hand)
40 ground to overhead (15lb each hand)
[took about 45-ish minutes]
I will be spending most of tomorrow cooking several meals that we can freeze for the week, as well as snacks and breakfast items. Here is what our weekly menu will consist of, and every bit of it is Paleo!:
Sunday
- Breakfast: Egg Muffins, apple slices
- Lunch: Tuna salad wraps
- Dinner: Chicken Enchiladas
Monday
- Breakfast: Egg Muffins, fruit
- Lunch: Leftover chicken enchiladas
- Dinner: Hamburger patties and mashed cauliflower
Tuesday
- Breakfast: Smoothies, hard boiled eggs
- Lunch: Leftover hamburger patties and mashed cauliflower
- Dinner: Tacos
Wednesday
- Breakfast: Smoothies, hard boiled eggs
- Lunch: Leftover tacos
- Dinner: Turkeyloaf, roasted broccoli
Thursday
- Breakfast: Egg Muffins, fruit
- Lunch: Leftover turkeyloaf, kale chips
- Dinner: Grilled Chicken, roasted broccoli or other veggie
Friday
- Breakfast: Morning Glory Muffins
- Lunch: Leftover grilled chicken, or tuna salad
- Dinner: Salmon and steamed veggies
Saturday
- Breakfast: Smoothies, hard boiled eggs
- Lunch: Hamburger patties, kale chips
- Dinner: Shrimp Skillet
As you can see, these are mostly common items that you would make all the time, right? Well....kinda. Items that would normally consist of a tortilla will now be homemade coconut tortillas. There will be no cheese on the tacos, instead they will be dressed up with salsa and sauteed veggies that will make the taste phenomenal. Smoothies will have coconut milk and frozen fruit, no sugar or "fluff". Our bodies are going to learn what it is like to eat CLEAN, and we're pretty excited! Now you are probably wondering what little miss Kaylee will be eating. Um....that is yet to be determined. This little 3-year old is quite a picky eater and I'm trying to fix it but it is a slow process. We will still have foods around she is used to but hopefully she will begin to try new things.
Enough about food, here's the WOD from today, enjoy!
200m barbell carry (55lbs)
25 thrusters (55lbs)
200m barbell carry (55lbs)
25 overhead squats (45lbs)
400m medball run (6lbs)
50 wallball (10lbs)
400m run
50 medball situps (10lbs)
50m waiter carry, 50m farmer carry (20lbs each hand)
40 ground to overhead (15lb each hand)
[took about 45-ish minutes]
Thursday, January 5, 2012
We're Back!!!
Well hello everyone! Considering that this blog has been dormant for over a year, I believe it is time for a do-over...or at least a fresh start. I have felt a huge need to re-evaluate several things in life lately and the first step is to lay it all out there for the world to see. I truly believe there are people out there in the same kind of situation(s) we are and can benefit from the possibility of change. I won't attempt to bring everyone up to date, but will start fresh from here.
CrossFit is a huge part of my life now, and I am proud to be a part of CrossfitX here in Bellingham. I've never been part of a group so encouraging, so challenging, and so genuine. For the first time in my life I feel like I "belong" somewhere. It has been a huge struggle to get over my personal issues with self image and confidence. While it is still a work in progress, I have come a long way. Thanks to my amazing coaches at CrossfitX and the CrossFit community in general, I have lost 55lbs in 1 year. I am halfway to my goal so far. Although many people around me see a huge difference, there are days when I still feel like the "old" Brianne and can't see past the fat suit, so to speak. I know that one day that will change, but for now it is still a daily struggle. I'm known simply as "Bri" at the CFX gym, which I think is fitting because I've never been called by my nickname except by close friends and family. I wanted to start over and I felt it was the best way. It's almost like "Brianne" is representative of the old me who struggled to love herself each day; and "Bri" is becoming the girl she has always wanted to become....while being scared out of her shoes in the meantime! :)
Every day except for Wednesday and sometimes Sunday, involve some type of CrossFit workout. Saturdays are especially fun because the workouts last at least 2x as long and I get the workout with people who are not normally in my 5:30am class. <---- That's right people, 5:30am...sometimes it wears on me but that's the only time I have right now. There's 2 nights a week where I will either have another workout or go for a run; however, it's not much fun running in the cold right now so that has been put on hold for a bit.
On January 9th, we will start a new Paleo challenge at CrossfitX (CFX) and I am psyched!!! After the holidays, I am ready to start fresh and get my body back into game mode. Once I experienced my first Paleo challenge last year, my body has never been the same as it was prior to Crossfit. It rejects a lot of "junk" that I used to eat and I instantly feel like crap when eating things that are horrible for me. Yes, that means I still do on occasion, but it never fails that I completely regret it. I plan on using Sunday for cooking and I hope it is not too difficult. Mom got me a new cookbook: "Paleo Comfort Foods" for Christmas, which I will be using a lot for my meals. I will post recipes and pictures here when possible so you can all try your hand at it.
I'm still hoping and praying that the day will come when I am healthy enough to try out for the police department when they open recruitment. Right now I am close to reaching that goal, but it is still too far to grab a hold of. There are many days that I wake up thinking "why keep trying? It is too far away, you will never reach that goal" but I can't allow myself to quit now. I've come too far and my family has sacrificed way too much for me to give up. I know God has a place for me in law enforcement, and I devoted 4 years of my life to achieving the best education I could get for it too. I just have to let go of the misconceptions I have and take advantage of every day He gives to me. I am thankful for every single day I have with my family, and I long for the day that I can help make their lives even more enjoyable and secure.
As we go along, I will give updates on workouts (which are called WODs "Workout of the Day"), recipes, struggles, achievements, and opportunities. It's time to keep pushing past the ruts that come up and over the plateaus that show their ugly little heads. One of my favorite quotes [which of course I don't know word-for-word] say something about "Be the kind of woman who, when she wakes up in the morning, Satan says 'Oh crap, she's up!". It's GO TIME!!!
CrossFit is a huge part of my life now, and I am proud to be a part of CrossfitX here in Bellingham. I've never been part of a group so encouraging, so challenging, and so genuine. For the first time in my life I feel like I "belong" somewhere. It has been a huge struggle to get over my personal issues with self image and confidence. While it is still a work in progress, I have come a long way. Thanks to my amazing coaches at CrossfitX and the CrossFit community in general, I have lost 55lbs in 1 year. I am halfway to my goal so far. Although many people around me see a huge difference, there are days when I still feel like the "old" Brianne and can't see past the fat suit, so to speak. I know that one day that will change, but for now it is still a daily struggle. I'm known simply as "Bri" at the CFX gym, which I think is fitting because I've never been called by my nickname except by close friends and family. I wanted to start over and I felt it was the best way. It's almost like "Brianne" is representative of the old me who struggled to love herself each day; and "Bri" is becoming the girl she has always wanted to become....while being scared out of her shoes in the meantime! :)
Every day except for Wednesday and sometimes Sunday, involve some type of CrossFit workout. Saturdays are especially fun because the workouts last at least 2x as long and I get the workout with people who are not normally in my 5:30am class. <---- That's right people, 5:30am...sometimes it wears on me but that's the only time I have right now. There's 2 nights a week where I will either have another workout or go for a run; however, it's not much fun running in the cold right now so that has been put on hold for a bit.
On January 9th, we will start a new Paleo challenge at CrossfitX (CFX) and I am psyched!!! After the holidays, I am ready to start fresh and get my body back into game mode. Once I experienced my first Paleo challenge last year, my body has never been the same as it was prior to Crossfit. It rejects a lot of "junk" that I used to eat and I instantly feel like crap when eating things that are horrible for me. Yes, that means I still do on occasion, but it never fails that I completely regret it. I plan on using Sunday for cooking and I hope it is not too difficult. Mom got me a new cookbook: "Paleo Comfort Foods" for Christmas, which I will be using a lot for my meals. I will post recipes and pictures here when possible so you can all try your hand at it.
I'm still hoping and praying that the day will come when I am healthy enough to try out for the police department when they open recruitment. Right now I am close to reaching that goal, but it is still too far to grab a hold of. There are many days that I wake up thinking "why keep trying? It is too far away, you will never reach that goal" but I can't allow myself to quit now. I've come too far and my family has sacrificed way too much for me to give up. I know God has a place for me in law enforcement, and I devoted 4 years of my life to achieving the best education I could get for it too. I just have to let go of the misconceptions I have and take advantage of every day He gives to me. I am thankful for every single day I have with my family, and I long for the day that I can help make their lives even more enjoyable and secure.
As we go along, I will give updates on workouts (which are called WODs "Workout of the Day"), recipes, struggles, achievements, and opportunities. It's time to keep pushing past the ruts that come up and over the plateaus that show their ugly little heads. One of my favorite quotes [which of course I don't know word-for-word] say something about "Be the kind of woman who, when she wakes up in the morning, Satan says 'Oh crap, she's up!". It's GO TIME!!!
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Why do bad things happen to good people?
**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, some of the stories in this next post involve sadness that has hit our community this past week. If stories of loss are particularly upsetting to you, I want to let you know now that it will be part of the post. Thanks.
This past week has been very unexpected here in Bellingham. Our community has been hit with two tragedies that have hit close to home for Jon and I. On Thursday, I had stayed late at the University in order to attend one of my online classes that started at 5pm, so I left 1 hour later than normal to catch my bus. As soon as we arrived at Bellingham Station, the driver informed us that we were now on detour because of "police activity at the high school". Bellingham High School runs down my bus route, so I knew it was that school. As soon as I got home I checked the news and was brought to tears at what I saw. A young mother was walking her 3 children correctly across the cross walk. One car had stopped to let them pass, when another car slammed into it and caused the car to slide into the crosswalk. A little girl named Anna who is Kaylee's age (2) was killed. Jon and I did not quite know how to take this news. Here is a mom who is doing the right thing by walking her children across the crosswalk, doing everything right, and her baby is now gone. How could this happen??? Why did this happen?? Why her? There are so many unanswered questions, and the driver who slammed into the stopped car was arrested. There have not been any new details yet. The community immediately came together and began to set up a memorial outside of the intersection. What started as a bear and a balloon soon blossomed into about 20 square feet of candles, flowers, plants, stuffed animals, balloons, crosses, pictures, and religious scripture. This weekend we bought a small plant and took it out to the memorial site. Jon and I felt such a connection to this family, and can't imagine what they are going through. Here is a picture of the memorial after only a few days:
The beginning of this week brought rain, and on my bus ride home I saw that someone had set up 2 tents to cover and protect the memorial site. It will remain up probably until the funeral service later this week. It was such a tragic event, and one that Jon and I will probably never forget.
Unfortunately, that is not all that happened this week. A Western Washington University student named Dwight Clark (18) had been reported missing for over a week. Every day when I went into work I had hoped that I would see an update that the investigation was moving in a positive direction. Instead, it seemed as though the investigation was turning cold. His picture was posted in every entrance to every building on campus. Despite the possibility that the result would be undesirable, the community banded together in search for Dwight. Search teams worked with the Bellingham Police Department to scour every area of interest. Fliers were posted at bus stops and in business windows. T-shirts were made for search party personnel to wear. Everyone followed every lead possible but nothing seemed to progress. This afternoon, we were all informed that Dwight had been found in the water outside the bay. I knew something was wrong when helicopters hovered over the university and bay area during lunchtime. A pit in my stomach grew harder and my heart dropped when we received the news. He looked like such a sweet and innocent kid. He was a freshman, brand new to the University only 3 weeks ago. The entire campus gathered today at 4pm to pay our respects. There are still so many unanswered questions, and I pray that the investigation results will be able to give the family some closure. Dwight's mother has been in Bellingham every since his disappearance, I feel so sorry for her and their family. Here is a picture from today (retrieved from Bellingham Herald) on campus:
In the midst of both tragedies, it makes me want to come home and hug Kaylee as hard as I can and never let go. In both instances, a mother has lost their child. Why do things like this happen? It's difficult to understand that even though you do everything in life right that tragedy can still happen like this. To come to the realization that tragedy happens because sin is in this world is hard to swallow sometimes. You think that it won't happen to you or someone you know.
The sin of this world can cripple your community, your home, and your personal life if it lets you. The enemy can target where he knows it will hurt the worst, and for this to happen so close to home makes me not only sad, but angry. We must protect ourselves from any ounce of suseptibility's in both our spiritual lives and our physical lives. Mom's and dads: pray with your family daily. Make it a usual occurrence at home so that it becomes "odd" not to pray each morning and evening. Pray for your kids, for their day today and for their future tomorrow. I can't imagine how these famlies feel and I pray that I will never have to endure that in life. We cannot predict what the devil may do in our future, but we can do our very best to stay on the path that God has for our lives so that we can make the very best of it while we are here. It's clear as day to us that this world will not be here very long, but we can't give up hope and we can still reach the destiny that God has for our lives.
I'm sorry if this post has upset any of you. It's been hard to get over for us. Please keep both of these families in your thoughts and prayers. And hug your babies extra tight tonight, thanking God that he blessed you as their parent. Never take for granted every second you have with them. We love you all very much.
Brianne & Jon
This past week has been very unexpected here in Bellingham. Our community has been hit with two tragedies that have hit close to home for Jon and I. On Thursday, I had stayed late at the University in order to attend one of my online classes that started at 5pm, so I left 1 hour later than normal to catch my bus. As soon as we arrived at Bellingham Station, the driver informed us that we were now on detour because of "police activity at the high school". Bellingham High School runs down my bus route, so I knew it was that school. As soon as I got home I checked the news and was brought to tears at what I saw. A young mother was walking her 3 children correctly across the cross walk. One car had stopped to let them pass, when another car slammed into it and caused the car to slide into the crosswalk. A little girl named Anna who is Kaylee's age (2) was killed. Jon and I did not quite know how to take this news. Here is a mom who is doing the right thing by walking her children across the crosswalk, doing everything right, and her baby is now gone. How could this happen??? Why did this happen?? Why her? There are so many unanswered questions, and the driver who slammed into the stopped car was arrested. There have not been any new details yet. The community immediately came together and began to set up a memorial outside of the intersection. What started as a bear and a balloon soon blossomed into about 20 square feet of candles, flowers, plants, stuffed animals, balloons, crosses, pictures, and religious scripture. This weekend we bought a small plant and took it out to the memorial site. Jon and I felt such a connection to this family, and can't imagine what they are going through. Here is a picture of the memorial after only a few days:
The beginning of this week brought rain, and on my bus ride home I saw that someone had set up 2 tents to cover and protect the memorial site. It will remain up probably until the funeral service later this week. It was such a tragic event, and one that Jon and I will probably never forget.
Unfortunately, that is not all that happened this week. A Western Washington University student named Dwight Clark (18) had been reported missing for over a week. Every day when I went into work I had hoped that I would see an update that the investigation was moving in a positive direction. Instead, it seemed as though the investigation was turning cold. His picture was posted in every entrance to every building on campus. Despite the possibility that the result would be undesirable, the community banded together in search for Dwight. Search teams worked with the Bellingham Police Department to scour every area of interest. Fliers were posted at bus stops and in business windows. T-shirts were made for search party personnel to wear. Everyone followed every lead possible but nothing seemed to progress. This afternoon, we were all informed that Dwight had been found in the water outside the bay. I knew something was wrong when helicopters hovered over the university and bay area during lunchtime. A pit in my stomach grew harder and my heart dropped when we received the news. He looked like such a sweet and innocent kid. He was a freshman, brand new to the University only 3 weeks ago. The entire campus gathered today at 4pm to pay our respects. There are still so many unanswered questions, and I pray that the investigation results will be able to give the family some closure. Dwight's mother has been in Bellingham every since his disappearance, I feel so sorry for her and their family. Here is a picture from today (retrieved from Bellingham Herald) on campus:
In the midst of both tragedies, it makes me want to come home and hug Kaylee as hard as I can and never let go. In both instances, a mother has lost their child. Why do things like this happen? It's difficult to understand that even though you do everything in life right that tragedy can still happen like this. To come to the realization that tragedy happens because sin is in this world is hard to swallow sometimes. You think that it won't happen to you or someone you know.
The sin of this world can cripple your community, your home, and your personal life if it lets you. The enemy can target where he knows it will hurt the worst, and for this to happen so close to home makes me not only sad, but angry. We must protect ourselves from any ounce of suseptibility's in both our spiritual lives and our physical lives. Mom's and dads: pray with your family daily. Make it a usual occurrence at home so that it becomes "odd" not to pray each morning and evening. Pray for your kids, for their day today and for their future tomorrow. I can't imagine how these famlies feel and I pray that I will never have to endure that in life. We cannot predict what the devil may do in our future, but we can do our very best to stay on the path that God has for our lives so that we can make the very best of it while we are here. It's clear as day to us that this world will not be here very long, but we can't give up hope and we can still reach the destiny that God has for our lives.
I'm sorry if this post has upset any of you. It's been hard to get over for us. Please keep both of these families in your thoughts and prayers. And hug your babies extra tight tonight, thanking God that he blessed you as their parent. Never take for granted every second you have with them. We love you all very much.
Brianne & Jon
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
"The Plans I Have For You"
Have you ever felt like you didn't know where your life was going, or what you were meant to do? Have you ever thought that you might never reach your destiny in life? Have you ever felt unworthy enough to even catch a glimpse of your destiny? The last question is one that most often comes to mind for me. Among all of the important, rich, beautiful, successful people in the world why would I be one that would be worthy of seeing the destiny that God has in store for me? This is a tough question to ask, and an even tougher one to answer honestly. One of the most popular Bible verses that is taught is Jeremiah 29:11 "I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." God has promised His people that He has a plan and purpose for our lives, so why are we so quick to dismiss the thought that our destiny is something we are supposed to reach...within THIS lifetime? Of course, there are eternal blessings that we can not even begin to imagine, but God placed us here on Earth for a reason. In the past, every time I have thought about the destiny God has for me I never considered being able to reach it no matter how badly I wanted it. I didn't believe in myself, and I didn't think that something so special could be waiting for me.
Until I became a mother I had never realized how true my parents were when they told me how special I was. I never understood that their words had so much meaning. Now that I have the most beautiful and precious daughter I could ever ask for, I understand the meaning of those words. Your parents love you with all their heart, no matter how many fits you throw or bad decisions you make. For those whose parents were not around, hopefully you have someone in your life who took the place of your parents, and you understand what I am talking about. Now....think about the love your parents have for you and how proud they are of you. Imagine how much it would be magnified if they knew what the rest of your life looked like, and the true potential you really have to influence those around you. God has this ability because He created you! He planned out your life before you were even conceived, and He has an even deeper love for you than anyone will ever understand. To know that my God loves me so much, even though I have made more bad decisions than I can count, it gives me so much peace.
God loves us so much and He wants us to seek our destiny out and reach for it! I have absolutely NO idea yet what my destiny is, but I can't begin to explain how much things have changed since we moved to Washington. I had this pull in my heart to move here, and I knew that we would miss out on so many things if we delayed it any longer. It's almost like I had to get here in order to finally feel at peace. I miss so many things and people in Amarillo, but I wish I could show everyone what we are experiencing here! God has shown me that His promise of a plan for our lives is well beyond our understanding right now, but it is there! His promises are true, especially about providing for us. I never thought that we could go without jobs here and there several times over and still be okay.
I had an interview yesterday morning at Western Washington University. I applied for a position with the Internal Auditor's Office and the Attorney General's Office within the university. This job was put in my lap without me seeking it out, God placed in in my lap and told me that THIS was the opportunity He wanted for me, but I had to be patient. All the signs pointed there, and man was it hard to be patient!! Staying in God's word and spending time with Him was the only way I was able to hear Him loud and clear but it was so important to me that I not miss what God wanted for me that I stuck with it! I found out the same day that I got the job and start Monday. I don't want to miss God's plan, I don't want to miss His blessings any more. This new journey has been the most rewarding experience. I can't get enough, and feel like I need to praise, sing to, and pray to God all day every day. God promised to take care of us, but we had to put in the time and dedication. To see that happen right before my eyes is amazing. I don't want it to stop, and I will do all I can to make it NOT stop. My family deserves this, I deserve it, and I'm finally realizing that God wants us to reach our destiny just as much as He wants to show it to us.
I challenge you to spend some extra time this week reading God's word. I know it's awkward and weird to just start reading your Bible without a place to start. So.....if you want a challenge, start in James. You won't be sorry.
Until I became a mother I had never realized how true my parents were when they told me how special I was. I never understood that their words had so much meaning. Now that I have the most beautiful and precious daughter I could ever ask for, I understand the meaning of those words. Your parents love you with all their heart, no matter how many fits you throw or bad decisions you make. For those whose parents were not around, hopefully you have someone in your life who took the place of your parents, and you understand what I am talking about. Now....think about the love your parents have for you and how proud they are of you. Imagine how much it would be magnified if they knew what the rest of your life looked like, and the true potential you really have to influence those around you. God has this ability because He created you! He planned out your life before you were even conceived, and He has an even deeper love for you than anyone will ever understand. To know that my God loves me so much, even though I have made more bad decisions than I can count, it gives me so much peace.
God loves us so much and He wants us to seek our destiny out and reach for it! I have absolutely NO idea yet what my destiny is, but I can't begin to explain how much things have changed since we moved to Washington. I had this pull in my heart to move here, and I knew that we would miss out on so many things if we delayed it any longer. It's almost like I had to get here in order to finally feel at peace. I miss so many things and people in Amarillo, but I wish I could show everyone what we are experiencing here! God has shown me that His promise of a plan for our lives is well beyond our understanding right now, but it is there! His promises are true, especially about providing for us. I never thought that we could go without jobs here and there several times over and still be okay.
I had an interview yesterday morning at Western Washington University. I applied for a position with the Internal Auditor's Office and the Attorney General's Office within the university. This job was put in my lap without me seeking it out, God placed in in my lap and told me that THIS was the opportunity He wanted for me, but I had to be patient. All the signs pointed there, and man was it hard to be patient!! Staying in God's word and spending time with Him was the only way I was able to hear Him loud and clear but it was so important to me that I not miss what God wanted for me that I stuck with it! I found out the same day that I got the job and start Monday. I don't want to miss God's plan, I don't want to miss His blessings any more. This new journey has been the most rewarding experience. I can't get enough, and feel like I need to praise, sing to, and pray to God all day every day. God promised to take care of us, but we had to put in the time and dedication. To see that happen right before my eyes is amazing. I don't want it to stop, and I will do all I can to make it NOT stop. My family deserves this, I deserve it, and I'm finally realizing that God wants us to reach our destiny just as much as He wants to show it to us.
I challenge you to spend some extra time this week reading God's word. I know it's awkward and weird to just start reading your Bible without a place to start. So.....if you want a challenge, start in James. You won't be sorry.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Time for an update, and time for a change
Brianne here. I'm sorry that it has been so long since we have posted. A lot has happened in the Hanson household over the past 3 weeks. We'll start with Kaylee. She is doing well at daycare still. However, she has entered the "possession" stage of being a toddler which means that anything she touches somehow becomes hers...or so she thinks. Even though an item is not hers, if she played with it one time, one day, it has somehow become "Kaylee's" and no one else is allowed to play with it. We are doing our best to help her understand that there are only certain things that are Kaylee's and the rest she has to share. Other than a bit of boundary-pushing episodes she is still doing wonderfully. Last weekend we went to Boxx Berry Farms and Half Acre Farms in Ferndale. This was my first time on a farm, as well as Kaylee's. We had missed berry season, so we picked veggies instead. Kaylee had so much fun, especially with the carrots. It brought a tear to my eye when I saw her eat a freshly picked carrot out of the ground (Daddy washed it first). To see her eating something so fresh, clean, and healthy made me so happy. This is what we want for Kaylee. We want her to grow up eating healthy foods, playing outside, and enjoying life.
This weekend we met the Bergen family from Canada (Alan, Jenn, Abby, Eden, & Zach). I met Jenn online in one of our mommy groups. Zach is Kaylee's age, and the girls are a bit older. We all met for the first time at Boxx Berry Farms and had a wonderful time together! It was so awesome to meet a fellow mommy from our group, especially since it feels like we have already known each other forever. Last night, Kaylee went to bed talking to Zach for about 10 minutes in her room before falling asleep. This morning she asked about him again. I'm sure we will see more of the Bergen clan, hopefully soon :)
Jon has started his new job and my assignment with Escrow Legal Services has ended. I do not think I have ever felt so blessed and privileged. The kindness that was shown to me while working there is more than I ever could have asked for. I lost my composure when I left. I felt silly being so sad to leave a place I had only been with for a month, but it felt more like family. The manager was wonderful and I look up to her a lot. I look forward to the day when I can help them out again. God placed me in their laps when they needed someone to fill in, and when we needed a paycheck coming in. I will forever be grateful for the time I was allowed to stay and I wish them all the very best.
With that being said.....I find myself unemployed. I would be lying if I didn't say I wasn't scared. In fact, my first reaction was to call my mom the minute I walked out the door. Oddly enough, I didn't get her on the phone. My next reaction was to call Jon but he was at work. There was no one else to call except my good friends in Texas who were probably just sitting down to feed their families dinner. In the small time of loneliness I sat waiting for my bus and had a moment to think. I knew this would happen, but for some reason I didn't believe it would. Let me explain...
Last week I had an interview with a criminal defense law firm. The job would have been typical legal secretary work, and decent pay. I did the very best I could at the interview and then left it up to God because I knew that He would put me in the best place I should be. The next day I received an email about a high-profile job at a local university. This job would pay almost double. Although Jon and I understand that money is not the most important thing, it is not wrong to want to be financially secure. I was placed on the interview list and now am scheduled for September 21st. This created a predicament. If I was offered the law firm job, I could not, with a clear conscience, still interview at the University. It would be dishonest of me, and I just would not feel okay doing it. This is where trust came in, hardcore. I literally prayed that God would find a way for the law firm job to pass me by. You read that right.....I prayed for God to NOT grant me this job because I saw a glimmer of hope for a better opportunity, one that I did not even seek out. I did not want to have to turn down another job opportunity (you'll remember the previous law firm one about a month ago), and so I asked that God would help me avoid even having to explain to someone why I was turning down their offer. So what happened you ask? No one called. I didn't have to explain it, and God answered my question loud and clear. I knew in my heart it would be the wrong decision to work at this law firm, but fear of the "unknown" almost stood in my way. The only way I got through last week with a clear conscience was by giving it to God and letting Him handle it. I sure didn't want to have to.
Back on track...so yes, I'm without a job right now. Is it scary? Yes. Is it the end of the world? Absolutely not. If I have learned anything through our journey so far, it is that God has bigger plans in store for the Hanson family than anything Jon or I could have dreamed of combined! Pastor Ken Hubbard always says (forgive me if I misquote it) "What you have is not all that you can have; Where you are is not where you have to stay; and Who you are is not all that God called you to be!" His sermon today was on the 8 Steps to Abundant Life. This message was both eye opening and life changing. Not only am I seeing what Pastor Ken talked about happening in our lives RIGHT NOW, I've now been reminded of the steps we need to take to continue on the correct path.
Genesis 22:1-14, 18
Genesis 12:1-2
John 10:10
Jeremiah 29:11
Galatians 5:17
1) Have the courage to submit to God's will.
-Step out on faith, no matter how bizarre it might seem.
2) Connect with the voice of God daily.
-Don't give God your leftovers. He should be your first priority.
3) Cut out the doubt.
-You have to fight for what you want.
4) Continually praise God.
-God will never give you more until you are thankful for what you have.
-As long as God is with us on the journey we WILL be alright!
5) Construct your own stage.
-You choose who and what you let into your life.
6) Consider the cost.
- If your sacrifice does not move you it probably does not move God.
7) Change your mind
-Be transitional instead of traditional
-If one door closes, do not give up!
9) Count on God.
Throughout the last 1 1/2 months, Jon and I have witnessed ups and downs, foreseen circumstances and unforeseen circumstances. We have also experienced fear and faith. Fear will cripple you if you let it, but faith takes all the weight off your shoulders so that it can be carried by Him who has the strength. We were not meant to carry these burdens, but you have to make a conscious choice DAILY to follow Christ and put Him first. Today represents a new chapter in my spiritual walk, and one that I know I will have to work no daily if I want to see all of the benefits God has for me and our family. I want to be successful, I want Kaylee to have a wonderful childhood and be a respectful young lady, I want to have a phenomenal marriage, I want to know that as a family we are reaching for the destiny God has for us. I also want to know that individually I am doing everything in my power to reach that destiny as well. I refuse to live this life without experiencing that destiny. Today is the day that the world stops becoming so important, and the One who created it becomes top priority. God gave me this life, this body, and this family. It's my job to take care of it while we're here.
This weekend we met the Bergen family from Canada (Alan, Jenn, Abby, Eden, & Zach). I met Jenn online in one of our mommy groups. Zach is Kaylee's age, and the girls are a bit older. We all met for the first time at Boxx Berry Farms and had a wonderful time together! It was so awesome to meet a fellow mommy from our group, especially since it feels like we have already known each other forever. Last night, Kaylee went to bed talking to Zach for about 10 minutes in her room before falling asleep. This morning she asked about him again. I'm sure we will see more of the Bergen clan, hopefully soon :)
Jon has started his new job and my assignment with Escrow Legal Services has ended. I do not think I have ever felt so blessed and privileged. The kindness that was shown to me while working there is more than I ever could have asked for. I lost my composure when I left. I felt silly being so sad to leave a place I had only been with for a month, but it felt more like family. The manager was wonderful and I look up to her a lot. I look forward to the day when I can help them out again. God placed me in their laps when they needed someone to fill in, and when we needed a paycheck coming in. I will forever be grateful for the time I was allowed to stay and I wish them all the very best.
With that being said.....I find myself unemployed. I would be lying if I didn't say I wasn't scared. In fact, my first reaction was to call my mom the minute I walked out the door. Oddly enough, I didn't get her on the phone. My next reaction was to call Jon but he was at work. There was no one else to call except my good friends in Texas who were probably just sitting down to feed their families dinner. In the small time of loneliness I sat waiting for my bus and had a moment to think. I knew this would happen, but for some reason I didn't believe it would. Let me explain...
Last week I had an interview with a criminal defense law firm. The job would have been typical legal secretary work, and decent pay. I did the very best I could at the interview and then left it up to God because I knew that He would put me in the best place I should be. The next day I received an email about a high-profile job at a local university. This job would pay almost double. Although Jon and I understand that money is not the most important thing, it is not wrong to want to be financially secure. I was placed on the interview list and now am scheduled for September 21st. This created a predicament. If I was offered the law firm job, I could not, with a clear conscience, still interview at the University. It would be dishonest of me, and I just would not feel okay doing it. This is where trust came in, hardcore. I literally prayed that God would find a way for the law firm job to pass me by. You read that right.....I prayed for God to NOT grant me this job because I saw a glimmer of hope for a better opportunity, one that I did not even seek out. I did not want to have to turn down another job opportunity (you'll remember the previous law firm one about a month ago), and so I asked that God would help me avoid even having to explain to someone why I was turning down their offer. So what happened you ask? No one called. I didn't have to explain it, and God answered my question loud and clear. I knew in my heart it would be the wrong decision to work at this law firm, but fear of the "unknown" almost stood in my way. The only way I got through last week with a clear conscience was by giving it to God and letting Him handle it. I sure didn't want to have to.
Back on track...so yes, I'm without a job right now. Is it scary? Yes. Is it the end of the world? Absolutely not. If I have learned anything through our journey so far, it is that God has bigger plans in store for the Hanson family than anything Jon or I could have dreamed of combined! Pastor Ken Hubbard always says (forgive me if I misquote it) "What you have is not all that you can have; Where you are is not where you have to stay; and Who you are is not all that God called you to be!" His sermon today was on the 8 Steps to Abundant Life. This message was both eye opening and life changing. Not only am I seeing what Pastor Ken talked about happening in our lives RIGHT NOW, I've now been reminded of the steps we need to take to continue on the correct path.
Genesis 22:1-14, 18
Genesis 12:1-2
John 10:10
Jeremiah 29:11
Galatians 5:17
1) Have the courage to submit to God's will.
-Step out on faith, no matter how bizarre it might seem.
2) Connect with the voice of God daily.
-Don't give God your leftovers. He should be your first priority.
3) Cut out the doubt.
-You have to fight for what you want.
4) Continually praise God.
-God will never give you more until you are thankful for what you have.
-As long as God is with us on the journey we WILL be alright!
5) Construct your own stage.
-You choose who and what you let into your life.
6) Consider the cost.
- If your sacrifice does not move you it probably does not move God.
7) Change your mind
-Be transitional instead of traditional
-If one door closes, do not give up!
9) Count on God.
Throughout the last 1 1/2 months, Jon and I have witnessed ups and downs, foreseen circumstances and unforeseen circumstances. We have also experienced fear and faith. Fear will cripple you if you let it, but faith takes all the weight off your shoulders so that it can be carried by Him who has the strength. We were not meant to carry these burdens, but you have to make a conscious choice DAILY to follow Christ and put Him first. Today represents a new chapter in my spiritual walk, and one that I know I will have to work no daily if I want to see all of the benefits God has for me and our family. I want to be successful, I want Kaylee to have a wonderful childhood and be a respectful young lady, I want to have a phenomenal marriage, I want to know that as a family we are reaching for the destiny God has for us. I also want to know that individually I am doing everything in my power to reach that destiny as well. I refuse to live this life without experiencing that destiny. Today is the day that the world stops becoming so important, and the One who created it becomes top priority. God gave me this life, this body, and this family. It's my job to take care of it while we're here.
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